Pattern Pattern Pattern Pattern Pattern Pattern Pattern Pattern

Aka the closet is glass

Gertrude: Hamlet I know you want to go back to university (where Horatio is) but I need you here (where Ophelia is)

Hamlet: UGH fine

Hamlet: *sees Horatio* 😍😍😍

Hamlet: uh oh, do I forget myself

Ophelia: Hamlet says he loves me

Laertes: Please don’t believe him - he’s not allowed to follow his heart, he has to do whatever is best for Denmark [babe you are his beard???]

Polonius: Please don’t believe him - the prince can have sexual indiscretions, but you can’t [girl he’s screwing around with guys???]

Hamlet: *sees his father’s ghost*

Horatio: Stop! What if it’s dangerous??

Horatio: *physically holding Hamlet back* I can’t let him hurt you

Polonius: Hamlet wrote Ophelia this love letter

Gertrude: Really? Hamlet??? 🤨

Polonius: Yeah it says “I’m totally in love with you, babe, I swear, why don’t you believe me?”

Polonius: But don’t worry, I know she isn’t in a good enough social sphere to marry him

Gertrude: Wait no I want Hamlet to marry literally any girl Ophelia actually

Gertrude: God wouldn’t it be great if Hamlet was acting so weird because he thought a girl was hot

Hamlet, to Polonius: *cishet voice* Better lock up your hot daughter so I don’t get her pregnant, amirite fellow straight dude 👉😎👉

Hamlet, to his friends: I don’t like men

Hamlet: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING

Hamlet: The pangs of despised love are too much to bear 😢

Hamlet: Hey hottie! Did you pray for my sins lol

Ophelia: Here are your love letters back

Hamlet: I gave you no such thing

Ophelia: You did though???

Hamlet: haha, are you serious? …You’re hot? Ok, like, yes, I did—

Ophelia: You made me believe you loved me

Hamlet: Oh you should not have believed that, I did NOT

Ophelia: I was deceived 😭

Hamlet: Girl, heterosexuality is a scam, go be a lesbian or a nun or a whore or something, why do you want to be a breeder? Also do you have any idea how much sinning I do? I am picturing so much gay sex that I literally don’t have time to do it all in one lifetime.

Hamlet: Oh shit, is your father spying on us?

Hamlet: Fuck, uhhhh ok ok ok

Hamlet: Listen girl, even if you perfectly perform society’s heterosexual bullshit, they will still talk shit about you, so just go to a nunnery/brothel/whatever, or at least don’t marry an asshole like me

Hamlet: Also since your father is listening, uhh, here’s a bunch of toxic misogynistic bullshit!! And uh, you are the reason for my (fake) madness, just like he suspected!!! Ok bye! ✌️

Claudius, who was listening: Wow, I guess Hamlet doesn’t swing that way

Hamlet: Horatio!!! 😍

Horatio: Sweet Lord 😍

Horatio: My dear Lord 😍

Hamlet: I love you so much that my (female) soul is bonded to you

Hamlet: I love how you are not passion’s slave, like how could I not fall in love with you

Hamlet: …I made it too gay again, didn’t I?

Hamlet: *Loudly making sex jokes about Ophelia now that they’re in public again*

Horatio: *gets a letter* Literally nobody else would be writing to me except Hamlet

Hamlet: I need you to run to my side as fast as if you were running from death itself

Horatio: *Takes off running*

Hamlet, in private: Oh shit, Ophelia died?

Hamlet, in public: *leaps into her grave proclaiming his love for her as loudly as possible*

Hamlet: *is poisoned*

Hamlet: I am dead, Horatio

Horatio: And I’m like those (famously gay) ancient Romans

Horatio: *tries to drink poison after Hamlet is killed, Romeo and Juliet style*

Hamlet: *has to physically wrestle the cup out of Horatio’s hands*

Hamlet: If you ever loved me, you will survive this pain for me ❤️

Horatio: Now cracks a noble heart 💔

Horatio: Good night, sweet prince ❤️

P.S: Don't like! Reblog! <3

Even if you don't like them, even if they're canceled, even if they're a CRIMINAL.

As requested by @im-bad-at-names-okay :)

Happy Pride Month! If Cosmere characters wanted to "come out," here is how they would do so.

1. Renarin: A series of unsigned letters

Lore drop: I came out via a letter to my parents when I was in high school.

Dalinar: The first note said, "Someone is gay." Dalinar: The second note said, "Someone you know." Dalinar: The third note said, "Someone in your family." Dalinar: The fourth note said, "One of your sons." Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I think I can predict what the fifth note will say.

2. Adolin: Tells people face-to-face

He just figures that telling people in person is the right thing to do.

Adolin: ...So anyway, I like men as well as women. May: Yes. I am aware. Adolin: Y-You are?? Did someone tell you?? May: You stare at a lot of butts. Adolin: ... Adolin: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

3. Kaladin: The most dramatic moment possible

Think about every time Kaladin let someone know he was Radiant. Now apply that logic to Kaladin coming out.

Kaladin: [Glowing with stormlight, descending slowly from the sky] Kaladin: Romance. Sex. Gender. None of it--none of it--is compulsory, and none of it is for me! Lirin: You literally could have told us this normally at dinner last night. Hesina (elbowing him): Shhhh!

4. Wayne: Casually, conversationally

Wayne drops the lore as if it's no big deal, although he is admittedly a bit anxious the first time (when he tells Wax).

Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good man... Wayne: Actually, I'm a girl today. Wax: [processing very quickly] Just today? Wayne: Well, we'll see, I guess. Sometimes it's just for a day. Sometimes it's a girl week. Wax: Noted. Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good woman...

5. Rlain: Matter-of-factly

Rlain knows he has to make humans accept him as a person. Sometimes he tells them that he plays cards. Sometimes he tells them that he is gay.

Rlain: I'm Rlain. And this is my boyfriend, Renarin. The Alethi guy who was just talking shit about Singers: Uh... Rlain: Now you know something else about me. Rlain: Namely, I can pull.

6. Shallan: Eventually and with difficulty

Look, Shallan does not like to reveal lore about herself. Sometimes it takes being trapped in a cave in a high storm. Sometimes she makes her alters do it. It's a process.

Shallan (currently huddled with Kaladin in the little nook while the high storm rages outside) Shallan: ....A-And also, I think I have a crush on Jasnah! Shallan: Does that mean I like women??? Kaladin: Even worse, you might have bad taste in women! Shallan: What Kaladin: I shouldn't say my first thought.

7. Sazed: Makes Wax do it

This is always the Sazed-Harmony strategy.

Sazed: [communicating with Wax via his earring] Please tell everyone that my pronouns are now "they/them" so if they could stop using "he" for me, I'd appreciate it. Sazed: I know that there are other things going on, but it has been annoying me for hundreds of years now. Wax: ...You sent a kandra to command me to put in my earring for this...? Couldn't the kandra just do it...? Sazed: You try explaining pronouns to a kandra!

8. Vivenna: Just kinda assumed people knew

The short hair and the sword aren't enough??

Beard: Captain, we've been talking... Beard: And we've come up with a list of just three guys in all of Kholinar who we think MIGHT be worthy of going on a date with you! Vivenna: ...Try again, but with women. Beard: .... Beard: Oh! Vivenna (to herself): How much more obvious could I make it?

9. Jasnah: Writes a truly groundbreaking treatise

Jasnah is not going to bother coming out if it's not also scholarship.

Ethid: Your treatise on asexuality will truly have a lasting effect on scholarship. Jochi: I predict that the undertext referring to your own experiences will promote much speculation in future generations. Jasnah: Thank you, both. Jasnah: ...Glad that relationship was worth something.

10. Nikaro: Tells no one until they all figure it out for themselves

Nikaro can't shake the fear that everyone will leave if they know the truth, groundless as that fear may be.

Akane: Last week you had a boyfriend. Yumi: Correct. Akane: Today you have a girlfriend. Yumi: I do. Akane: Your girlfriend looks quite a bit like my old friend, Nikaro. Yumi: Fancy that. Akane: ... Akane: Congrats on the gender, Painter! Painter: ...It's that easy?

11. Dalinar: Unintentional lore drop

Dalinar is one of Those dads.