to zanarkand

I DON’T NEED TO BE PURIFIED, GIRL.

          “ w-why? ” was taking a vacation illegal now? he did his best to frown at her, posing and putting up his fists. he bit his lip for a long moment, eyeing her, before he spoke.

  – Kai sat on the back doorstep. He couldn’t close the door behind him, that would be rude, but he’d pulled it as close as he could. He leaned back against the wall, eyes on the stars above his head. If Meri could see him, sitting on the ground, in this outfit, it’d be more than a cause for concern. But she was inside, “doing the dishes” with her mother in hushed, angry tones. Really, he wasn’t all that upset. Just tired. The cool air helped clear his thoughts a little, but he wouldn’t feel like himself again until he got home.

  Light spilled out from the door, then faded again as it opened and closed. He didn’t look up. Instead, he fished a cigarette out of his pocket. A dry click, a sigh, and the stars were obscured by a blueish haze. He held the packet out to Braska and quietly, somewhat awkwardly, spoke without turning toward him.

  “I think I owe you an apology.” he said.

          an... apology?

it would have been a lie to say the words did not surprise him. he’d never thought to hear them. not then. and not now. in fact, for a long moment, he wasn’t certain if he’d really heard anything at all. and he simply sat there, still, letting the quiet seep back in. but, of course, he had heard the man. though the words were quiet, they had been spoken.

another moment passed and then he saw it, the subtle gesture kai made, a signal to join him. and he nearly laughed. he? the high summoner? smoke? there was no formal policy against it, only his own. but still, he couldn’t exactly refuse. not now. he wouldn’t risk it. not now that he was so close. and so, without a word, he seemed to sigh- a quiet defeat- as he took the pack from the other’s hand, awkwardly fidgeting with it- with both of his hands- until he’d acquired one and could finally hand it back, setting it on a patch of empty space between them.

he spun the thing between his fingers. and faintly, looking at it, he frowned. he tried not to think about it. and his gaze shifted, out and away, up toward the sky. he took a deep breath and, at the end of it, he finally shifted, turned, and spoke.

I RISE FROM THE GRAVE.

it’s apparently later than he thought. much later. and though the sound of yuna’s footsteps is heard, it does not initially pull him from his sleep. it’s the sound of her voice, instead, that brings him to full-consciousness, in one fluid motion. as it registers, he shoots upright in his bed, blue eyes blinking, his hair- likely all too familiar to her- mussed every which way.

despite the surprise of this, a moment passes and he settles enough to smile, widely. and he looks genuinely happy despite the sleep still edging his eyes. when his hands finally meet the bowl she’s presented, he laughs, his head bowing. and then, turning to her, a twinge of color enters his cheeks.

          “ thank you, yuna. i’m certain i will. ” a pause, created by her hug. one hand leaves the bowl to wrap around her, pulling her tight. then, teasingly, he continues, half-speaking through her hair as she pulls away.

one. i’m probably not going to be terribly active over here. my primary focus is on my other blog. so, if you want to do something, just ask me. don’t expect too many memes or starter calls. they’re probably not going to happen.

two. i am dropping everything that i previously had in my drafts. i think there are a few that i might dig up when/if i’m in the mood ( i feel like some stuff had just been plotted before i took a hiatus and i feel bad about that. ) but... just don’t count on it. talk to me if there’s something you really want me to look over. i will!

three. i’ve just unfollowed nearly everyone ( i’m not kidding. i’m following about twelve people now. ) please don’t take this personally. i honestly just don’t know who is still interested in interacting. so, if you are, let me know. i will gladly refollow! i just didn’t want my dash too busy with people who i’ll never get to know.

Based on the Color Wheel Theory of Love. Repost; don’t reblog. Bold the traits of each type of love that are most relevant to your muse.

PRIMARY LOVE

[EROS - ROMANTIC LOVE (Sensuality, Intensity, Passion)]

Feels strong physical and emotional connection through the relationship | Begins with a partner who is a stranger and evokes immediate excitement | May be exclusive but not possessive | Seeks early sexual adventure, variety and technique | Is ready for love and the risks.

[LUDUS - COMPETITIVE LOVE (Teasing, Attention, Fun Before Commitment)]

Is not ready to commit to anyone | Has no intention of falling in love | Is anxious about a partner who is too intimate | Allows early sexual activity only for fun, without emotional connections.

[STORGE - FAMILIAL LOVE (Loyalty, Siblings and Friends, Commitment)]

Is not looking for love but is ready if encountered | Is quietly possessive but not overly jealous | Believes love comes from friendship but not a goal of life | Only has sexual desires after commitment is declared.

SECONDARY LOVE

[MANIA - OBSESSIVE LOVE (Obsessions, Possessiveness, Jealousy) - Ludus-Eros]

Is anxious about falling in love and has expectations of pain | Quickly becomes overwhelmed by thoughts of their partner | Forces partner into showing affection and emotion | Is easily frustrated and does not enjoy sexual intimacy | Is very possessive and jealous.

[AGAPE - ALTRUISTIC LOVE (Unbreakable, Forgiveness, Wholistic) - Eros-Storge]

Is attracted to several types of people | Meets people easily so most likely will begin with a stranger | Feels concern and care for each partner they have | Is neither jealous nor obsessive | Enjoys sex and is willing to improve it.

[PRAGMA - PRACTICAL LOVE (Rationality, Realism, Collaboration) - Storge-Ludus]

Is certain of their preferable “types” | Begins a relationship with an already familiar person | Believes a loving relationship is desirable for a happy life | Expects reciprocation with feelings | Believes sexual compatibility can be worked out.

WOULD LIKE TO ROLEPLAY

at the moment? i’m... not really sure. honestly, there’s no one i’m super feeling that i haven’t already explored below !

HAVE ROLEPLAYED / MIGHT BRING BACK

oh lord. let’s see... h/ope estheim from xiii. i’d still write him by request on my multi. the summon s/hiva, from ff series. she was so fun, but it was really hard to do what i wanted with her; no one read my about page. sighs. l/ightning farron, from xiii. she wasn’t popular. i was really off-center in my view of her. r/inoa heartilly, from viii. i will always adore this character purely because so many people did not. p/rince marx, from fe:fi. i loved this guy. it’s a shame he wasn’t very well-liked. a/vatar wan, from lok. he’s a trip. but, he was a bit too much like bchan the way i wrote him. g/wyndolin, from dark souls. i loved writing this character, but the fandom was brutal. i still write him behind the scenes, though. and lastly, m/arian hawke, from da2. i will always love my version of her, but ocs are hard.

CURRENTLY WRITING

braska, of course ! i also have pretty developed au verses for him set in dishonored and fallout: new vegas. kisara, from yugioh ! she’s on a bit of a hiatus at the moment, though. i have to be in the mood for her because she’s very needy. and lastly, emily kaldwin, from dishonored ! i haven’t done a lot with her, though. the fandom is so, so small.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

     “ of course ! it has to be. ”

his smile was warm and reassuring and told nothing of the uncertainty he carried underneath, somewhere, deep, in the pit of his stomach. he wasn’t sure at all. if anything, he was sure his return, weeks ahead of schedule and with an undocumented guest, would be... interesting. but, he had a lot to report. he’d made progress, real, tangible progress. what else would this be called? a disgrace he heard someone say, a familiar voice in the back of his mind. but, he shoved it away. most likely, it wouldn’t be okay at first. at first, he told himself. but, when they met her, when they saw her, saw what she was capable of and what she could do, he knew some people would come around.

she was a good person. really, they all were.