.i fucked the alien

Why r people who have phone sex always talking in the present tense what’s up with that. It’s always like ‘I’m taking off your boxers’ but does it not feel more natural to be like ‘if I was there, I would take off your boxers’. Because to be honest lady when I look down and see my boxers fully on there WILL be an annoying part of my brain going ‘lmao, no you’re not they’re still on’ and I’m afraid the annoying part will take over venom style. But if you say you WOULD take off my boxers then I’ll be like fuck yeah, it would be awesome if this person I’m having phone sex with was having real sex with me and could take my boxers off! But a boy can dream

Abstinence only Iruka still pisses me off like come the fuck on you really think he’s worried about Naruto having sex? He’s probably just glad Naruto hasn’t been murdered by the government okay I feel like there are many bigger fish to fry in Konoha than abstinence only sex education

They have characters on ao3 expressing opinions in a way that makes it seem like they genuinely spun a couple of wheels to get the idea for the scene

HI! does anyone know anyone who has received no artfight attacks this year? I am burning through my bookmarks and I know that because of the high volume of participants this year there are a lot of people who haven't received attacks :0

I think this is the Zoloft speaking but at a certain point dissociation and derealization just becomes. Annoying. Oh you feel a marked disconnect from the face in the mirror? Yeah big whoop get on with your life buddy we don’t have time for this