here we go

I want Lil Nas X to do a cover of Santa Baby. He’d make it as suggestive as Eartha Kitt intended

when will YA authors realize that the mr. darcy fantasy isn’t “hot rich guy is a huge dick to you” but “hot rich guy fucking respects and listens to you”

“hot rich guy only seems like a huge dick because he has the social skills of an agarophobic lobster.”

“hot rich guy realizes he has some dickish qualities and works to improve himself solely on the merit of your criticism and not to win you back”

“hot rich guy apologizes and also understands that his apology doesn’t entitle him to forgiveness.” 

it’s always “the moon looks so beautiful tonight.” it’s never “the moon is so loyal and diligent for never straying from orbit and always regulating our tides,” or “the moon is such a gentle soul,” or “the moon really has a great sense of humor.” ppl are so fucking shallow these days smh

its twentying absolute two

first sessions with a new therapist

Her stupid ass

The most embarrassing thing In my life is whenever I see people and they ask what I’ve been up to . Literally nothing ever . Im like ohh you know this and that …. The usual ..

talks to a girl and is immediately hit with an 105 degree fever nausea chills etc has to lie in bed all day wiping sweat off my forehead with a silk handkerchief and writing about my illness in my diary like a malnourished victorian man

honey that’s not the girl that’s your moderna booster