if you think a reblog is abt Auron, it probably is

My one friend really likes "yo mama" jokes, but she feels bad for saying them to me because my mama's dead, and lately she's been circumventing this by adding "in heaven" to them, a concept I was introduced to with zero warning via a text that said, "Yo mama's so stupid she's in heaven pre-heating the microwave."

imagine how awkward it must have been to be a king right at the tail end of your civilization's retainer sacrifice period. sorta hesitantly making plans to have the pit installed in your tomb and looking around trying to gauge the vibe

supposedly sacrifices in china waxed and waned with periods of consolidation and decline, which was presumably even funnier. picking out 8 servant girls to have murdered and thrown in a pit like your father did and when you get to the sixth name you see your advisor subtly shaking his head. massive L

Police officer: Are you aware how fast you were going? Me, trying not to reveal that I'm a philosophical zombie: Yes, it's one of many things I'm aware of

Police officer: Do you know you have a taillight out? Me: You'll never be able to prove I don't

It is of course very far from their most egregious sin but I do kind resent 'radical feminism' using 'radical' in a fairly specific sense ('at the root', patriarchal oppression being the foundation upon which society's cruelties and pathologies are built), thus immediately dooming us to half a century of confused and pointlessly unpleasant discourse as people see the name and assume it just means 'feminism but moreso' or 'feminism but angry about it'.

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

I’m gonna propose something: if your combat/ass-kicking sequence can’t fit to a top 40 female-vocalist Banger like “Toxic” or “Mama Mia” or “I Need a Hero” you’re not Doing It Right.

At this point its starting to feel like Editors are using 140-150bpm as a standard for action sequences, and I cant say I hate it.

I agree wholeheartedly with every point above but I watched this first with the sound off because I forgot that was an option and what struck me most is how efficient Luke's lightsaber style is. Almost every flourish he makes and all of what, 2 entire spins?, is defensive to better parry blaster fire while nearly every offensive swing he makes is basically a head or chest level kill shot. If I had to make a guess about his character I'd say this vintage twink has probably Seen Some Shit and maybe comes from a background where resources are scarce and help is far away so if you get in a fight you have to end it before it starts or you're dead meat

deeply want a time travel fic where Luke visits the old republic and the Jedi are like “that’s not a dueling style” and luke is like “yea am not doing much dueling tbh”

OHHHHH the phrase "go off half-cocked" refers to a gun that fires before the firing pin is fully in position. that makes sense I thought it was like. a different thing

i lied. there’s no sex. put your clothes back on. I’m going to spend the next hours explaining why the Camarilla is technically a homeowners association with fangs.

Embarrassing fact about me is that it took me so so long to be able to tell Ross Bryant and Grant O'Brien apart. I'm sorry guys you're both tall white dudes with similar-sounding names and very very similar voices. I would just wait for the first sex joke or Shakespeare reference.

I feel better now because everyone in the notes is like "yeah same".

since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.