which one of you degenerates is into handholding

stab scene intimacy coordinator

sometimes ill go onto jackbox.tv, name myself "SCARY GHOST" and just type random codes in until i find a game and then just vote randomly

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

the world hates nocturnal girls

in addition to the things people already have said in the tags, it would be nice for girls with heat sensitivity (like us) to be able to go outside at night during warmer months when it may be a lot cooler. however, due to safety concerns and/or basically nowhere being open at night (where we live at least), this is not feasible. it should be feasible because you can literally just hire workers who prefer night time work but i guess fuck anyone who wants to work but cant do it during the day

“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website

When you're unable to solve an IT problem at work, there really is nothing quite like having it escalated all the way up the ladder. With every step, there is a degree of smugness about how real my problem is, and that yes, I was right to have trouble with this.

You can get a minor version of this if one IT person solves it but they spend a bunch of time repeating things you’ve already tried and when they eventually solve it it’s by doing something you wanted to try but didn’t have the requisite permissions to do

Was in a situation where neither I, nor my boss knew what was causing the problem, so we ended up calling one of the head engineers, and ive never experienced anything quite as validating as the moment where said head engineer, after spending several minutes just staring at the problem, quietly said "what the fuck"

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

I thought this was going to be about being buried alive and calling for help

I thought it was going to be about taking phones with you into the afterlife like an Egyptian pharaoh

call me a crackpot conspiracy theorist but i dont think its a coincidence that right around the time the us and uk governments were going mask-off transphobic and directly instructing intelligence agencies to treat trans activists as "violent extremists" english speaking social media became flooded w discourse driving a wedge between two of the largest subcomminities of trans ppl, with tons of definitely super real accounts posting shit like "grrr im a trans man and i think whiney feminist trans women should shut their bitch mouths and get back in the kitchen" or "grrrrr i think we should kill all men ESPECIALLY trans men and btw im a totally real trans woman"

im not saying trans ppl are incapable of being transphobic. lots of ppl are assholes and some of those assholes happen to be trans. but if ur constantly focusing on trans ppl like theyre the main driving force of transphobia in society, while cis politicians are actively dismantling our rights, then ur acting like a fed and im gonna treat u like one. we need to stop fighting each other and start fighting together

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those