The Dog With A Blog

SHAKE AROUND THAT PATHETIC WOMAN. PUT HER IN A BLENDER. THROW HER AT A WALL. CHEW ON HER. IM TIRED OF YOUR MEN ITS TIME TO TOSS AROUND YOUR GIRL BLORBO LETS GOOOO

“add tags” nah. the lesbians got me i can feel it

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

The most annoying thing about making cities in the United States car-centric is that it also makes them miserable places to drive a car. You can’t make them car-friendly because they inevitably become actively hostile to cars. They are still car-centric, just unfriendly. Like dogfighting. That’s not friendly to the dogs but it’s pretty dog-centric. It’s also illegal. Something to consider.

Always funny to me when indie devs who already sell games for dirt cheap participate in steam sales with like 90 percent off. Like. "Yeah this game is three dollars but you can have it for one right now." Like your game costs as much as a pack of m&ms and youre selling it for the cost of a pack of m&ms in the 1950s now? Okay

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

idk man not to sound like a cartoon hippie but if your entirrrrre blog and dash is about how the world sucks and everyones bigoted i think you are going to give yorself brain worms

"ah but all of this is important and true and if i dont reblog all of this important stuff waga baga THE WORMS! THATS WORMS! THE BRAIN WORMS!

i do not think you are doing activism chief i think what you are doing is sitting in your room flagellating yourself expecting something to happen

cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area you’re most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at

my promising gardening career was cut short when i was mauled by a rampaging basil plant

you can use this handy mnemonic to remember the planets of the solar system

mercury penus gearth cars wupiter caturn shuranus weptune iluto wluto mluto bluto aluto rluto bluto pluto