Presented in Stunning Technicolor

Go a little fart

oh my gosh that last one

it’s 2 am, and I’ve been DYING for 20 minutes from ‘Tip: spice up your panic attack with a harmonica’

anyway while I think there is much to blame institutionally for the handling of the coronavirus, i think it is safe to say that american protestant individualism also played a fine role in this mess.

our culture does not value collective effort. we lack the empathy of caring about society as a whole. i am hearing people in public complain about others wearing facemasks. like the idea of caring about the health and safety of other human beings is mocked! like what kind of selfish heartless bullshit is this. 

oh and this idea that we should sacrifice the “weak” is reflective of cultural idealologies such as Social Darwinism and Calvinsist theology on predistinaition. these ideologies are so prevelent in our cultural landscape and they perpetuate the notion that some people are inherently more deserving of life and salvation more than others. 

mike’s hard bubble tea

It’s just marbles

This is not an exaggeration.  Your download speed would slow down to the point where Windows would make this kind of absurd estimate, and you’d sigh and leave the room for a while (because you couldn’t use the computer while it was doing this for fear it would crash and lose all your progress) and then you’d come back in 40 minutes and maybe it would now say 52 years or maybe it would say 3 minutes, who knew, not Windows.

I can’t stop laughing, mostly because it’s so true

Imagine trying to argue with a man who won Jeopardy 74 times in a row

Concept: fairy tale where the wicked step-parent (who is of course also some sort of warlock) transforms the princess into a swan, as one does, but rather than running off to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, the princess decides to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.

It is a beautiful day in the palace, and you are a horrible swan princess.

Oh god, yes please.