Status report on my binge ED recovery/weightloss journey:
07/18/26
Current weight: 258lbs
Total weight lost: 22lbs
Days since last binge: 8 (07/10/26)
Overall mental state since last update: largely positive. Went through a depressive episode a couple weeks ago, but came out okay after a few days.
Notes: I stopped counting calories as much because the last few weeks have been really crazy, but I've been trying to still eat healthy when I can. I've noticed I feel better with a smaller, simpler breakfast (usually some variation of fresh fruit, coffee, and cereal or a muffin).
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Status report on my binge ED recovery/weightloss journey:
5/19/26
Current weight: 260lbs (119 kilos)
Total weight lost: 20lbs (10 kilos)
Days since last binge: 45 (4/4/26)
Overall mental state since last update: Up and down, but mostly pretty good.
Notes: I sprained my wrist and ankle, but it's healed now, so I went back to the gym yesterday for the first time in about three months. It took me over 10 minutes to run ΒΌ of a mile on the treadmill, and I felt like I was dying the whole time, but I did it!
I've reached the point that I've had to start taking in my clothes because they're getting too big for me, and it's slightly annoying, but it feels amazing to be making visible progress!
I got put on an SSRI, and I've been feeling fantastic! It's drastically improved my over all mental state, and I haven't been feeling the urge to binge nearly as much as I was before! It still definitely feels like an uphill battle some days, but I'm getting better and I feel so much more in control of my life and my food intake!
I don't have anywhere I feel comfortable talking about this IRL, so I'm subjecting y'all to my rambles and life updates. TW for discussion of ED's and dieting under the cut.
I have decided to take the plunge and actively try to lose weight.
I started in December of 2025 at 280lbs (127 kilos [20 stone]). As of today, I am 272lbs (123.37 kilos [19.42 stone])!
I had/have a binge ED related to severe PTSD (now diagnosed and being treated!), and I have not binged since January 2026, three and a half months ago at the time I'm writing.
I started going to the gym last fall, and haven't been as consistent as I'd like, but I've been making progress!
I started counting calories three days ago to make sure I'm remaining in a deficit, while being careful not to over do it as I have tried in the past. My goal is to get down to 200-180lbs (91-81 kilos [14-12 stone]) by this time next year.
I am doing this for me. I am doing this for my health. I'm doing it because I'm sick of feeling like shit physically and mentally, I'm sick of feeling like shit when I see myself in photos, and I'm sick of feeling like shit every time I try to find clothing that fits my body. I'm okay being chubby, or chunky, or even straight up fat, but I need to get a handle on my weight and on my ED before it permanently effects my health in a negative way. I got this π«Άπͺ
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I've been battling insomnia lately by conjuring up Hazbin Hotel fan fics (that will stay in my head because they are, for the most part, self-indulgent cringe), and I really REALLY like this HC for Husk's human life. He definitely gives off the vibes of an estranged, divorced dad.
Cringe, borderline fan fic under the cut. Also, disclaimer: I have not seen season 2, so this may not even be accurate
Imagine, if you will, Husker in the 1970's. Married to a beautiful woman with three kids he loves very much. We know he had a gambling problem, so it's not hard to imagine that would put significant financial strain on his family. His wife, Edith, tries to help him beat it, but Husk is characteristically stubborn and selfish-- he is in the throws of an addiction and cannot see how it's hurting the people he loves. He starts drinking heavily to cope with the stress of his marriage falling apart, which makes things worse. She gives him an ultimatum-- her and the kids, or his vices. He makes the wrong and selfish choice.
Husk and Edith separate. He slips into a bad place, and feels like too much of a loser to try and fix things. He feels like it's better his kids grow up without a father- without HIM, or be raised by another man, than to have their lives tainted by his bad influences, so he doesn't fight for custody in the divorce. This is also the 70's, when it was much more likely for the woman to get full custody than it was for both parents to get shared custody, especially when Husk would be seen as an unfit parent. He doesn't fight. He gives her almost everything.
Imagine, the last thing he says to his daughter as he's getting the last of his things from what used to be THEIR home: he hugs he tight, kisses her forehead, and makes her promise to never marry a man like him. He loves her, this isn't her fault, and she deserves so much better in life than what her mom got. He tells his sons to look after their mom, to make sure she's all right, because deep down, he still loves her. And then-- he leaves. He gets in his car, and he drives.
He drives far, far, away. He goes to a new city, a fresh start. A clean slate. This is where he starts bartending, where he discovers more about his asexuality, where he eventually finds peace. But, through all the years between then and his death, he never forgets. He moves on from Edith, recognizing that it was for the best, but he NEVER forgets his kids. Every alimony check he signs, every tax form he fills out, a stinging reminder of THEM. How much he loves them. How many milestones he missed. How much he misses them every single day. But, it's better this way, right? Better for them, better for Edith, better for him. Besides, it's not like he, Husker, could have changed, could have turned his life around, and given it all up, right?
The amount of safety features incorporated into modern cars is unreal. I've seen crashes where the car flipped over and the occupant only had minor injuries. My dad was t-boned by someone speeding off the highway and walked away with a broken arm. The car was completely smashed except for the passenger compartment, which was curtained on all sides with airbags. That one manufacturer has decided they are exempt from implementing all these advancements disgusting and terrifying
When I was going through driver's ed I was taught that the steering column would stab through your chest if you crashed head on and that was just the way it was. We do not want to go back, not even a little
The point of car safety features is that the car is supposed to die in an accident so you don't have to. Your car should be a pile of smoking rubble after an accident, and you should be fine.
I totaled my first car. Like, the car itself just stopped where the windshield met the dashboard. Ahead of that point, there was no more car. It was gone.
Me? I had some really spectacular bruises and a lil friction burn on my nose from where Mr. Airbag and Ms. Glasses had a disagreement. That's it. That's it.
I was driving a little tiny coupe and went more or less head-on with a pickup truck. The entire engine and hood of my car was twisted rubble that was not connected to the rest of the car afterward. I sat down on the verge, about twenty or thirty feet from the accident, while I waited for the cops and EMTs to work their way through the traffic backup to get to us, and found that I was sitting beside one of the headlights of my car. The whole entire headlight, bulb and reflector and cover and frame and all.
All I had were bruises and that little friction burn. That's it.
Crumple zones save lives. So do seatbelts and airbags; half the bruising was the exact shape of my seatbelt in livid crimson and black on my torso. It was and remains the most insanely intense bruising I have ever experienced in my life. BUT IT WAS JUST BRUISING!! Unpleasant, sure, but eminently survivable and didn't even require much treatment beyond not wearing a bra for a few days. But all the force that created that spectacular bruising was force that wasn't flinging me through the windshield or impaling me on the steering column. My car crumpled and crushed and dissolved but it held me safe and secure and protected.
Crumple zones save lives. You do not want your car to look undamaged after the accident, because that means it made like a Newton's Cradle and passed every bit of the impact straight through to your soft and highly crushable body.
This is not my usual content, but as a result of my job, I see the aftermath of many extremely fatal car crashes. And I will add, just to emphasize: your car is the product of thousands of engineers and decades of research aimed towards the goal of protecting your body in its seat inside the car. However: this relies, significantly, on your body staying in its seat. Your seatbelt is crucially important in keeping you alive. With your seatbelt, you are locked into the safest place in your vehicle. Without your seatbelt, you are a soft projectile in a rapidly collapsing metal structure. Wear your seatbelt.
My grandpa was a PA at a pediatric hospital. He had the fun job of mostly working with car crash victims and trying to patch them up in the years before seatbelts were mandatory. He lost so many patients who would've made it if they'd been buckled into their seats. He would break out his most horrific and gruesome stories if you didn't want to wear your seatbelt, and to his credit, it worked. I'm an adult now, and I will NOT take my car out of park if even one passenger isn't buckled (a friend of mine actually got really pissed off at me because I slammed on my breaks pulling out of a parking space, refused to move until they put their seatbelt on, and told them to either buckle up or get out of my car and walk).
These were more complex to make than I'd thought (especially those faces), but I'm pleased with how they turned out. Hope this helps make your day a bit sweeter, take care out there.
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Did your mother or other people in your close family baby-wear? (Hold baby in a sling or carrier while doing everyday tasks)
Yes
Only occasionally/in special circumstances (such as outside the home)
Rarely or never
Voting ended onJan 22
I keep seeing women online talk about their (valid) postpartum struggles getting anything done with a baby who wonβt be put down. My mom always wore her babies in a sling around the house while she did household chores and Iβd be curious for people to share their answers AND what culture theyβre from in the tags.
Because I was homeschooled during most of my siblingsβ baby years I was pretty isolated from babies outside my family circle (most of my aunts wore their babies too). And I accepted that the way my moderately-crunchy (dedicated to breastfeeding but also vaccines) family behaved was probably how most people (of the era, 90s/00s) did. I have a memory of my sister at only 2-3 years old fashioning a baby carrier out of some cloth for her baby doll, because that was essential to her.
Talking to my husband and other close friends about their baby years has been really eye opening about the variety of ways our society treats babies and small children. I love all the commentary people have provided in the notes about their experiences.
My mom would put us in slings or carriers when she needed to do stuff around the house, unless there was an older sibling available/willing to watch the baby.
Sister #1 would pass the baby off to other adults/sibling when she needed to do stuff.
Sister #2 will exclusively use a wrap unless there is a relative or older kid who wants to hang out with the baby.
My MIL would keep the baby on her without a sling or wrap, but would have the older kids do everything around the house that wasn't directly tied to caring for the baby.
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