mayhaps

no offense but almost every modern novel written by a misanthropic female author sounds the same.. I woke up today and had some coffee. I masturbated thinking about Brad. We aren’t together but we’re fucking. I am so much smarter than everyone else. Everything I say is witty, sarcastic, and clever in a way no one in the real world would ever speak. I take a drag from my cigarette and watch the man in the apartment across from me. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have his dick in my mouth. Btw I have a deep and profound knowledge on niche topics that I casually refer to in conversation. Somehow everyone around me understands it. I’m cold and pale and my freezer dinner is ready. It’s spaghetti and existential dread night. I eat it with a glass of wine. Mommy dearest calls me. She has deposited my monthly check from my dead beat dad. I buy cigarettes and a vibrator. I am deeply unhappy.

I was crying throwing up laughing for like an hour nobody believes him

makr the neck like a kettle so you can kiss its lips and drink gently from its mouth

I like the way you think

Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

why is tumblr such that you can say something people believed in the middle ages absolute orthogonal to reality and everyone will just nod?