ShipHarbour

🌙.

Robby tilts his head, biting his lip, watching Jack from behind. Robby's hand is in his pants, and he's trying to be quiet and still, but he's pretty sure Jack knows what he's doing anyway. "Oh, yeah," Jack groans, his head tucked under the sink, "this is really deep up in there."

He arches his back a bit deeper, and the white tshirt that was already nearly sheer rides up a bit, exposing one of those temporary tramp stamp tattoos he likes to put on just because he knows they drive Robby wild.

This one just reads whore in pretty cursive, and Robby has to bite his lip to keep from moaning as he takes in the look of that between his tshirt and his jeans, tighter than sin around his ass.

"Think you should get in a little lower," Robby breathes, surprised how breathless he sounds. "Don't think you can...fix it like that."

"Probably right." Jack emerges from under the sink for a moment, tossing a smirk Robby's way, wiping off his sweaty face and showing off the way he's sweating out the neck of his shirt already.

He takes in the sight of Robby caught with his hand shoved down his pants, blushing as he watches, and just nods approvingly. Licks his lips.

"If you want to take advantage," Jack says, still grinning, "I'm in a prime position." He goes back under with his back in a deeper arch, sticking out his ass even more. That time, Robby can't keep quiet.

When Jack is first moving with Robby, Robby makes a throw away joke about being his new landlord. An obvious joke, Robby has owned his home outright for years, there's no mortgage no rent. But Jack, being the horny nightmare Robby loves him to be, takes the joke and fucking runs with it

Robby now getting texts from Jack saying he can't afford his rent this month, and is there any way *nudge nudge wink wink* that Robby would accept something other than money

When he knows Robby is getting off shift soon, and he's had the day to prep, Jack texts Robby 'complaining' that he wants to take a nap but last time he did, his landlord let himself in and he woke up with him in his bedroom. And he's just so tired that he has to sleep now, but he's so very worried his landlord will let himself in and have his way with him

Occasionally when Jack let's his DIY proclivities get the better of him and damages something. Robby comes to him explaining that the landlord requires a full apology immediately

....I might be getting too committed to this idea myself 🤔 🍷

"There's a leak in the pipe under the sink," Jack says, grinning at Robby. "I tried to fix it myself, but I think I made it worse. My landlord won't like that."

Robby blushes, smirking as he realizes what game Jack is asking to play. "I think he'll demand a full apology," he rumbles, cornering Jack against the kitchen counter. "When he gets home from work."

Jack twines his arms around Robby's neck. "I hope you won't come in while I'm sleeping," he says. "Hope you won't just...let yourself in." He leans in to let Robby brush his lips against his neck. "Take your apology in whatever way you see fit."

He can feel Robby's smirk against his skin. "Wouldn't dream of it." He plants a proper kiss on Jack's lips. "Be careful, or the landlord might want to see you on your hands and knees in some tight jeans fixing that leaky pipe."

Picturing early 1900s rich, dapper but shy Robby setting off on a luxury cruise liner across the Atlantic Ocean. He’s part of the high society and is expected to only mingle with people of his own class…when his eye is caught one night by the gorgeous Jack, who’s rowdy and cocky. 

Maybe Robby couldn’t sleep one night and found himself on the lower decks where the ‘lower class’ passengers stay. A big group is sitting around a table playing poker, everyone is relaxed and having fun, no worries about how they look or ‘acting’ proper. Robby’s entranced as he watches Jack whose shirt is half open, chest on display.

And then Jack notices him back. Maybe invites him to come join. Robby is a bit flustered. He really shouldn’t, if anyone knew he was down here mingling with this group it would cause a stir…but who can resist a man like Jack? I am imagining Jack being flirty all night, casual touches, innuendos, just riling Robby up (in a good way) and jfc Robby is in trouble because is it crazy to fall in love with a guy you’ve only just met? 🫠

-🧼

(Yes, yes, this is a Titanic-inspired au 😁. Minus the hitting an iceberg and all that lol. Idk if you’ve seen it Lila, but it’s just the perf fit for these two! I mean they both share the name Jack, and Jack wins his ticket on the ship in the movie from a poker game. And the pokerverse you’ve created is just such a perfect mashup!! Kind of picturing this starting off with Robby leaving the match yearning for Jack (and fighting a hard on of course 🙃) and of course eventually Jack will get him to break 😏)

(Hope you’ve been well! My life has been chaos (in a good way!) and I haven’t been online. Will probably have to disappear again but hopefully i’ll be back regularly soon!)

"Come join us," Jack says with a flirty wink, leaning back in his chair with his cards fanned out in his hand.

Robby slowly makes his way to the poker table, blushing, feeling entirely out of place. He can't tear his eyes off Jack and his body, his flirty smile, his cocky confidence. He starts chatting Robby up, leaving him to almost lose the game due to distraction. Almost.

Robby is dizzy as he listens to Jack's every word, certain he's falling in love with a man he just met, and isn't that unwise...but he can't help the way Jack makes him feel, the desire Robby has to drag him to the upper floor and have his way with him. But Jack won't be simply bought or charmed in the same ways Robby is used to. Robby will have to work for it.

But he's up for the challenge.

Howabout about omegaslut!Jack was low on money in med school and at one point was planning on selling his next Heat to the highest bidder. He was getting offers for 5 figure sums but never actually went through with it for some reason - maybe faculty found out and shut that shit down

Now, married and mated to possessive!alpha!Robby, somehow Robby finds out about it. And he is both insanely jealous that these people thought they could just buy Jack's Heat, but also so fucking horny, he can't get the idea out of his head

"Can't believe you were going to offer yourself up like that," Robby snarls as he's fucking into his omega, claiming him, making him cry out with every thrust. Jack's not in heat yet, but Robby can smell the sweet preheat on him, can feel how it's driving them both crazy. "Whore yourself out."

"You love it, alpha," Jack challenges, grinning lazily. "You're just jealous you didn't think of it first."

"I want to buy out your heat," Robby rasps, lowering himself to whisper right in Jack's ear, making him groan as his knot rubs at his rim. "How much will it cost to knot your sweet hole, omega?"

Jack can't speak, too overwhelmed. "Tell me," Robby demands, putting a hand on the back of his neck. "Give me a price. I'll pay anything. But you'll only be mine."

"You needed this, huh?" Jack pants, as Robby jerks them both off, his hand wrapped around them both.

"Starting to think you need it too," Robby shoots back, eyes glued to the way they look next to each other. They're tucked away on a quiet corner of the roof, and no one ever comes up here except them, but they're still trying to be quick and discreet. "i think you like this as much as I do."

"Fuck," is all Jack has the breath to gasp, humping into his fist, arms thrown around Robby's neck for stability on his leg. "Fuck, want you to come. Cover us both."

Robby lays his head gently against Jack's as they share a breath, as cover them is exactly what Robby does.

robby: oh, hey jack :)

jack, twitching: hey man

- 📀

"Hey, man," Robby says, channel surfing with a fan pointed towards him. He's only wearing gym shorts, no shirt, sweating down his flushed neck, the way he usually looks right after a workout.

Jack swallows, raking his eyes down Robby's gorgeous body, hairy and soft and perfect, his mouth watering. "Hot, huh?" Robby asks, and Jack takes a moment to come back online.

"Yeah," Jack manages. In more ways than one.

The fan blowing on Robby has him sighing pleasantly, but it's the sort of sigh he makes when Jack is sucking his dick and he can't handle how good it feels. Fuck. Jack licks his lips, resisting every urge to go run over there and jump fully on top of him.

"Come here and watch the game with me," Robby says, and Jack bounds over, glad for the excuse.

at the time, robby would just blush and scoff at the idea of such a thing, at the thought of a world where he did have that confidence.

a handful of years later, when they've settled into things, when they're married and committed for life, when they're as comfortable around each other as can be--that day comes. and it is indeed the death of jack.

it comes in many forms. robby stocking up on those tight tshirts he knows jack loves to see him in, the ones robby would once avoid wearing when jack stayed over because he thought they were too tight, too unflattering. jack trained him to see things otherwise.

robby wears those tshirts under every scrub top now, to bed when it's cold, in the morning when he's making them coffee, and jack gets so hard it's dizzying.

same goes for the shorts that ride up robby's thighs, the thighs jack will leave covered in hickeys and handprints, the thighs he loves to nuzzle into on his way up for a blowjob. same goes for the way robby does up his cufflinks when they're going to a charity gala, the veins in his wrist, the way he puts on his watch so effortlessly, shrugging into his jacket, opening the door for jack--all a recipe for jack needing to press him against the wall and kiss him until he looks claimed enough to be seen in public.

robby does it on purpose there, too.

he's doing it on purpose when jack is at work and robby sends him videos of himself jerking off, or a half nude from the bathroom, or pulling down his sweatpants a bit to show some hair before he goes to bed, or even just a thought about you tonight in bed at 10pm text which can only mean one thing. all of the above contribute to jack's early grave.

fucking christ, handsome, jack will reply, don't be such a tease. but he knows robby does it for this reaction, so jack has really fucked himself.

and then there's the way robby will fish for it, whispering bashful questions about what jack thought of his new cologne or that nude from earlier in the week, if jack liked it, if he got off to it, if his clothes smell like robby's cologne, if he doesn't mind that robby stole his shorts for a jog. he usually asks these things during pillow talk, or right when they wake up, both times that aren't great for jack's concentration.

"hitting me with my guard down, man, that's just..." jack will say, before he gets distracted by whatever filthy image of his body robby is putting into his head, and has to kiss him about it. "wanna get you naked." and robby goes along with that a lot easier than he once did. jack drags out the mirror to face the bed and robby no longer throws a fit. he lets jack give him a reacharound and whisper in his ear about how it looks. he lets him.

and there's that gorgeous, impish, blushing grin on robby's face when he gets the reaction he was hoping for, as if seeing it over and over is an affirmation that jack really does love and want him that much. jack is happy to affirm him, sad it took this long for robby to believe he's attractive, but fucking hell. the handover kisses, the teasing, the pictures, the early morning filth, the way robby singsongs i love you at 6am, the clothes he wears when they've had an argument and he wants jack to give in and apologize. he knows the power he has over jack, and he damn well uses it.

the smile alone will do him in. he wants to get drunk on robby's smiles, the real ones, the genuine spur of the moment ones when jack makes him so happy it bursts out. and he gets this happy from his husband affirming that he's attracted to him? he's really too much to handle.

"death of me," jack has taken to muttering under his breath whenever robby is pulling one of these moves. robby just chuckles into his mouth, giving him access to whatever part of his body he wants, because he's sort of, somewhat, finally accepted that jack loves and wants it all. jack is living the fucking dream.

And the world has got a lot to say

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

It's not fairies

It's Doris.

I'm going to see a prospective house because due to various circumstances, I'm probably going to be moving to the other side of a major metropolitan area in the next few months, but that's not important.

I get to the house

I get a text from the realtor

The realtor is not the person who has been texting me in emoji

The person texting me in emoji is the homeowner, who the realtor says will let me in if I want, she's running late.

Sure

Why not

I put Herschel on leash and go to the front door

As much crime as he commits at home Herschel The Hanukkah Goblin has terrific public manners, and is Very Cute so I'm about 90% sure the emoji fairy is going to let me take him through the house

Door opens.

90-something blue haired old lady with a spine like a question mark and glasses that could be used as telescope lenses opens the door.

"OH [Gallus]! How lovely to see you!"

This woman clearly knows me because she remembers my anniversary was last week and that my sister is back from Australia.

Problem is

I know about 500 geriatric ladies with blue hair, scoliosis and extreme prescription glasses, because I am a member of 2 quilt guilds, the scientific illustration guild, the rocky mountain SCA and stagehand for three different theater companies, so I know everyone's grandma and fuck me if I can tell them apart.

Wait

There's a quilt in thekitchen, visible front hall

I don't know faces but apparently I can recognize applique techniques at 40paces.

"...Doris? From SAQA?"

"YES! Who is this handsome little man?"

Herschel speaks enough English to know that "handsome little man" means "this person will feed me milk bones and bacon if I'm cute enough"

Immediately does a Sit Pretty and Shake.

Doris is bewitched

This is fine, but I also know I'm about to severely disappoint the realtor because there is no way in hell I'm moving into this House.

Because

The reason Doris is moving out is that her neighbor is a Cunt Magnifique and has been harassing Doris and everyone else to form an HOA and "improve the quality of our residents" because this woman has nothing better to do than be a racist-ass busy body, and recently, she's set her husband, a county sheriff on Doris, trying to bully her into signing paperwork and threatening her with legal action and writing her up for bullshit property violations

Ain't putting up with that shit

And neither is Doris, so she's selling all her shit and moving out to live with her grandchildren in Santa Monica.

But she's technologically impaired, so the only indication that there is an estate sale happening is a small paper sign in her front yard.

"Doris." I say, as Herschel makes himself comfortable on the couch for belly rubs and pieces of ham. "Did you tell SAQA or FRCC or anyone on Facebook that you're having the sale?"

"oh, I don't know how to do all that!" She sighs. "I tried to call the Denver post but they just put me on hold for ages..."

"Watch Herschel for 20 minutes and he's only allowed to have that one piece of ham."

Pics of everything

Address, time and pics to Facebook, both quilt guilds she's in, two more I have contacts for, nextdoor, and the local SCA discord for good measure.

It's 12 minutes and Herschel persuaded her to give him at least three pieces of ham.

He is petitioning for a fourth by doing a little puppy dance on the living room rug.

"OK, that's enough ham, people will be here in 10. Where is your cash box?"

Because apparently I'm running an estate sale today too.

It's fine :)

There's about 7 minutes of quiet.

Then

They DESCEND

The first on the scene is DeeDee, who doesn't believe in speed limits. She's arrived with a horse trailer. I remember that she is also moving.

"HI DORIS SWEETHEART WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS TODAY I WAS GOING TO TAKE ALL THIS TO THE GOODWILL HERE LET ME SET UP ON YOUR LAWN "

DeeDee is 73, and has a special spiritual bond with Hello Kitty. She weighs like 98lbs, dresses exclusively in neon pink sanrio clothes and the kind of eye makeup drag queens aspire to.

She also speaks non-stop at a volume normally associated with jet engines.

Half the horse trailer is already spread out on the lawn.

Doris is putting price stickers on stuff

Herschel is trying to tear open a bag of cotton batting.

This, and the arrival of approximately 56 minivans, five more trucks with horse trailers and Corgi Excitement Screaming alert Cunt Magnifique that something is happening outside.

Madame saunters off her porch up to Doris and Demands to know what's happening, you're supposed to notify the neighborhood and get a permit to-"

Doris, surrounded by her pack of silver wolves, shouts. "OH HELLO! EVERYONE, THIS IS MARCIA. I'VE TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT MARCIA." >:)c

You know those high school house parties you see in movies, where the person invites only a few friends, but those friends call their friends, and those friends call THEIR friends and soon like 500 people show up to one house and someone calls the cops and that one John Mulaney sketch with "SCATTER!" happens?

Old people will 100% do this too, except instead of a house party it's an estate sale on a wednesday afternoon and when the cop shows up there are lawyers present and he is in DEEP SHIT because his wife just spent the afternoon admitting to doing a bunch of wildly illegal shit on tape.

So when we left off, the party had really started getting underway, because Marcia the Cunt Magnifique had decided to crash the estate sale and whine about "we're supposed to coordinate garage sales as a neighborhood" and "your friends are blocking traffic on this cul-de-sac while nobody is home" weh weh-

DeeDee is about ready to throw hands but she is nowhere near the most dangerous of the Silver Silver Wolves.

That's Dr. Ruth.

Dr. Ruth turned 99 this year and went paragliding for her birthday

So you understand just how hard she goes

Dr. Ruth sort of hobbles over and point-blank asks "So I understand you've been trying to start a homeowner's association?" :3c

Marcia

Entirely misunderstanding how much danger she's in

Starts enumerating the TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS of trying to start one, because SOME PEOPLE DON'T RESPECT AUTHORITY and all the paperwork and talking to people and she even had to ask HER HUSBAND. A SHERRIF. To go around and hand people stuff to sign.

Some people, right?

Dr. Ruth nods. Some people. She agrees.

You know.

Her son is a lawyer.

Why doesn't she give him a call?

Marcia, a Moron: Oh that'd be great!

Dr. Ruth, hobbling back to Doris: "Don't worry. David will handle this."

Meanwhile

The Friends-Of-Friends and the Friends-Of-Friends-Of-Friends are arriving, lured in because they heard the words "Longarm Sewing Machine" and "Hand-made quilts"

Various factions present include but are far from limited to: -Probably Six Quilt Guilds -The Denver Art League -The Denver Leather League -The Vikings -The Klingons -The Colorado Wild Game Share -A Pack of Scientific Illustrators -A Pack of Assorted Scientists they brought with them -The Sheep Lesbians -The Horse Lesbians -Three Extremely Competent Finnish People (My Scientific Illustration Professor and her sisters) who immediately take over the estate sale and turn it into an auction to maximize profit and keep the taxes in order.

Someone brings two additional Corgi called "Cap" and "Bucky"

They are Pembroke Corgi, and weigh about 21lbs apiece

Herschel is a Cardigan Welsh Corgi and weighs 42lbs because he's hug even for a Cardigan, and is Delighted with his New Minions.

They worship him as a God and follow him around so every time he sticks his face in something two smaller corgi faces immediately follow, like some kind of adorable cerberus.

Pelts and meat shares are being traded out of the backs of trucks and vans

Someone is making bratwurst.

Intrigued by the Brouhaha, Doris' neighbors emerge.

They are also Geriatric and very nervous, because Marcia has been harassing them too.

They are telling this to the members of these factions that are also lawyers.

There are at least 5 of them so far and David isn't even here yet.

I realize my realtor isn't even here.

I decide to text her.

She is somewhere in the crowd and having a nervous breakdown because She's SO LATE!!!

Ma'am.

It's 103 out.

I was just handed a freshly grilled Brat

Some bitch is incriminating herself on the lawn.

Nothing scheduled is happening.

Come sit in the yard and watch the Corgis play on the Palyskool plastic slide set. They're disassembling it like tiny furry engineers.

Have a bratwurst.

One of the Klingons appears, having physically carried my realtor through the crowd, and gently deposits her on the lawn before handing her a Bratwurst.

Diane, the Realtor, is not much older than I am, and from the preppie swaths of society that has "Never had a dog growing up" and "Didn't Know People Could Just. Make. Blankets?" and "What is this? It's like a hot dog but spicy?"

She is having a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

One of the Horse Lesbians comes over and compliments Diane on her Dior handbag.

Diane thanks her ans compliments the apparently expensive brand scarf she has on. Do you. Know all these people?

Horse Lesbian explains that she's part of the SCA, and what that is, and that why yes. Her girlfriend Tasha is an armorer. Yes like for knights.

More Livestock Lesbians assemble.

They are pulling off shirts to show off livestock and battle scars, and biceps.

Diane is LEARNING A LOT TODAY.

I am just getting everyone's contact info and making sure Herschel does not consume his weight in bratwurst.

BWOOP!

Uh-Oh.

Marcia's Husband is here.

I step out front.

He has used the siren to largely part the crowd and pull into his driveway but it has closed around him and there is No Escape.

He starts huffing and puffing about blocked traffic and permits and the like, but this is not his usual Can-Bully-Without-Consequences crowd.

These are Grandmas.

Veterans of the 60's protest front who never let up.

He's starting to turn bright red and looks like he's about to cry and I've got my phone out to record whatever Incident is about to occur.

-And a Mercedes pulls up.

It's David.

Dr. Ruth's son.

The Lawyer.

And I emphasize that The because David is not some mere ambulance chaser.

David is the guy that the state sends to prosecute Corporate Fraud and Organized Crime and Other State Departments.

David was part of the team that took down the CO Branch of the KKK.

David is all of 5'4", very round and a balding little man that looks like the Dictonary Definition of "Nebbish" that moves with such intense confidence and authority that he pretty much has the Pillar Men Theme Blasting behind him at all times.

So when he and three other lawyers from the state's office step out of the car

Mr. Sherrif goes from red to while like color-changing octopus and I am like 50% sure he shit himself.

Because what he and Marcia have been doing is Very, Very, Very, VERY, Fucking Illegal.

"mArCiA!" he garbles. "sHuT tHe fUcK uP!"

Marcia is standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac, having spent the last 3 hours recounting to anyone who will listen about the 'measures she's had to take' and now the 5 lawyers that were here are delightedly handing over the paperwork that she had forced on Doris and her Neighbors, and pointing at all the doorbell cameras and witnesses out to the state's top prosecutor.

Friends

I ugly laughed.

FOUR HOURS LATER: -Auction wrapped up with a solid $40K to Doris' name plus pending sales on some of her larger furniture and antiques

Plus whatever David gets in damages from the county sherrif's office.

Marcia and husband are fucking busted

Herschel spent all afternoon running around and eating snacks and is passed out on the floor

Diane is "meeting up with" one of the Horse Lesbians next week.

The sewing machine went to someone else but I did open my purse and found out Doris or someone shoved a bunch of cash in there.

"What a good boy, taking it like this," Robby murmurs, giving it to Jack from behind, letting him lie there and simply take it with whine after whine. "You love this dick, don't you? You would do anything for it?"

Jack whines out a yes, drooling into the pillow as Robby fills him with cock over and over again. "Tell me," Robby insists, spanking him. "Use your words."

"Yes, dick is so good," Jack slurs, moaning with each thrust. "S'the best, babe." Robby picks up the pace, and Jack practically screams.