My Blog Thing

Here is a very incomplete list of favorites:

Ephesians by Ryan Teitman (“Litany for the City”)

From the same book, The Cabinet of Things Swallowed

After Abraham Mourns, He Requests Another Son by Mark Conway (“Any Holy City”)

Where is the Lake of Dreams? by Molly Fisk (“Listening to Winter”)

Elegy for the Left Hand by James Richardson (“Reservations”)

The Black Hen by Robert Bly (“Out of the Rolling Ocean”)

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (“Night Sky with Exit Wounds”)

Poem Set in the Day and in the Night by Max Ritvo (“Four Reincarnations”)

The Noisiness of Sleep by Ada Limón (“Bright Dead Things”)

The Unseen Hand of Zombie Jesus by Jamaal May (“The Big Book of Exit Strategies”)

Sleeping with the Dead by W. D. Ehrhart (“Sleeping with the Dead”)

The Sinclair Gift Emporium by Michael Bazzet (“You Must Remember This”)

Watson and the Shark by Colin Cheney (“here be monsters”)

the month of the vintage by Zulema Renee Summerfield (“everything faces all ways at once”)

The Birdman of Nogales by Alberto Ríos (“The Smallest Muscle in the Human Body”)

Marrying the Hangman by Margaret Atwood (“Two-Headed Poems”)

From the same book, The Man with a Hole in his Throat

In the Desert by Stephen Crane (“The Black Riders and Other Lines”)

Hands by Donald Justice (“Night Light”)

Wishbone by Richard Siken

From the same book:

Little Beast

Scheherazade

You Are Jeff

Saying Your Names

From Siken’s book “War of the Foxes”

Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light 

Birds Hover the Trampled Field

War of the Foxes

My orthodontist tells me I can make an appointment with the surgeon. I call the surgeon. They tell me I need a new referral. I call the orthodontist. They do a referral. I call the surgeon. Referral didn't come through. They tell me about their special unique system we have to use. I call the ortho again and walk them through the referral. I call the surgeon. They say the referral was missing some details so they have to do it again. I call the ortho.

The insurance company calls me about repair shops. I give them the name of the repair shop which I already gave them yesterday. They say they're not in their system but I can use them, but I have to call the repair shop to ask them to contact the insurance company. I call the repair shop and they say the insurance company is supposed to email them.

An antiviral pill has, for the first time, been shown to prevent COVID-19 in people exposed to the SARS-CoV-2 virus at home, according to trial results published today in the New England Journal of Medicine1. The drug could be a lifeline for those who still face real danger from the virus, such as care-home residents or transplant recipients on immune-suppressing medication.

And there are so many articles and videos and discussions. Like, the scientific community is buzzing about this.

So much research will have to be redone because the data was absolutely compromised, off by orders of magnitude, by using standard lab gloves.

The world is probably not horrifically contaminated by microplastics. Sterile laboratories, however, are contaminated by latex and nitrile gloves.

-red pandas in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. they can live in those you-pick orchards and delight tourists, and in the winter the big ones can be harvested by the farmers for food and fur. america also has native bamboo, as well as plenty of escaped invasives.

-koalas in southern california. we already have a lot of feral eucalpytus in the state and it makes our wildfires way worse. let's put koalas in there too. coyotes can hunt them like dingos do.

-cheetahs in colorodo, wyoming, nebraska, and oklahoma. we had cheetahs here once, that's why pronghorns are so fast. let's give them something to really haul ass about.

-spotted hyenas in texas and new mexico. did you know there's actually a shit ton of oryx already roaming around new mexico? they were brought in for a game preserve. oryx can fight off lions, but spotted hyenas are actually superior pack hunters with some of the highest kill rates of large cooperative predators in the world. we might have a problem with ranchers, but like: fuck ranchers. they already decimated the mexican wolf populations. they deserve hyenas.

-pangolins. i would drop these guys in arizona honestly. everyone in arizona hates and fears fire ants. i think entire neighborhoods would throw ecstatic parades for pangolins (which smell much better than giant anteaters) at least until a pangolin dug straight through their pasteboard condo.

-new zealand's little penguin in louisiana. they burrow into mud and sand banks during the day and tolerate quite hot temperatures! i think they'd do fine, and louisiana is sliding into the gulf anyway. let's have penguins there. i'd also try them out in new england in case lousiana is just too swampy for them. i feel like new yorkers would go insane with pride over having penguins around. they would act like they invented the whole concept of penguins. we should let them.

-water buffalo. georgia and the carolinas. i just think it would give everyone there some interesting new problems.

Europe: Wombat

We've had enough of your fucking rabbits and foxes. Here, have a huge badger type thing that can destroy cars with its arse. It'll outcompete your badgers and where will you be then. Haha.

Asia: Wombat

We've had enough of Indian camels ruining our deserts. Here's something to ruin your terrain for a change.

North America: Wombat

We've had enough of United States tourists with no manners. Here's some tourists with even less manners.

South America: Wombat

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUCKING CANE TOADS. WOMBATS FOR YOU.

Africa: Wombat

The feral ostriches aren't actually all that much of a problem right now, but in revenge for the problem they will probably become in the future, have some fucking wombats.

Antarctica: Wombat

I'll take it right back home and warm it up I promise I. I just really want to see a wombat walk and dig in the snow.

Australia: Wombat

Today it’s mostly famous for what it looks like on the inside.

It has an equestrian staircase though it’s so smooth it’s really just a gentle slope more than a staircase. It was build like that so our lazy bum king could ride his horse all the way to the top (king not in photo)

And naturally people have also driven cars up the tower

And held a bike race

For a while it was just sort of abandoned by the authorities and became a sloping marketplace

But today it has been restored and become a tourist spot as well as a popular destination for school trips. And yes, you can still watch the cosmos at the top.

Please listen to this baby tapir CHEEP and maybe all your sorrows will go away for a precious moment 🩷🩷🩷