Soy una limpiaparabrisa

Clearly he doesn't know how to follow directions because he only made it more awesome.

Yeah that slaps

It doesn't just slap, it sucker punches you

Turns out the horsemen of the Apocalypse now prefer to go by Shareholder Profit, Private Equity, Corporate Personhood, and Workforce Optimization.

Yeah I can work with that.

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

@videogamecows

I kind of do think "this is not who we are, we need to live up to our democratic heritage" is a winning message in a way "america is basically and fundamentally evil. fuck you all" isn't

remember how utterly inescapable how i met your mother used to be with the memes and references and barney and bro code and wait for it... and then the finale was so hated it vanished overnight

The finale so successfully erased the show from public consciousness, that when people tried to come up with a name for the "extremely popular show with finale so bad that people just immediately stop talking about it" phenomenon, people called it... the Game of Thrones Effect. HIMYM got memoryholed so hard that people forgot it even existed

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices