New Year, New Eldritch Monstrosity

When I moved, I’m certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.

But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldn’t find me.

They adopted my friend and it was now my friend’s job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.

This was maybe 6-7 years ago.

I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friend’s flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.

We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.

"...You'll gain weight" 🚫

Wrong

Body negative

You need way more calories than a slice of cake to gain even one pound

"...You'll get sick" ✔

Correct

Sugar is good but if you eat too much you get stummy ache :(

Better when eaten in moderation anyway

Prioritizes listening to your body

"...Without me" 👀

Secret third option?

Encourages community

Get sick with someone you love

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For some inexplicable reason, not everyone understood that distinction. “I got people calling and complaining, like, ‘Are you going to kill her? Is she going to kill someone?’ ” says King. “I couldn’t believe that went somewhere in their minds that they thought that was what I was trying to say.”

(source)

on the one hand, i guess ads for cremation services must be a tricky thing to keep on theme without being too depressing/morbid/etc, so I can see how “just grab their attention with anything, doesn’t have to be related” would be an appealing advertising strategy.