we are the devil's children

I’ve had a tumblr for 4 years what the fuck am I doing with my life 

chuckles darkly

you can't kill yourself girl i already bought us tickets to do everything ever

getting approached by an animal that wants you to pet them is such a magical feeling. like they saw you and went "yeah there's love in there"

Who else moans when they eat the subway cookie

Fuck the haters. I believe in you

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

!!!!!!

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

"Net zero information post" is funny and all but I really like when a false claim is debunked and then supplemented with an explanation of where the error came from and like, extra information that helps inoculate against future misinfo

the distortion of "there is potential profit we did not earn" as "there is money we lost" is fascinating and disgusting to me. "megamediaconglomerate lost $1,000,000,000 to piracy this year" is a flat out lie. it is not true. they did not have a billion dollars, that they now do not have. they felt entitled to one billion dollars, that they did not have, and still do not have. it's an infuriating perversion of the truth

cant believe i lost $1000 when i told some guy at walmart to give it to me and he said no

It’s a tony soprano summer

What this means

i keep thinking i will just figure it out later but given my track record of [gestures vaguely] i am not so sure anymore