Tatman

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

where's that picture that ruined my life

let’s go on a date and by date I mean lay in bed and make out for 3 hours

while I am talking to you about something gay and stupid a mosquito lands on my arm and sucks all my blood out in an instant, swelling to the size of a person as my remains flutter cartoonishly down to the ground, and it continues the conversation where I left off in a high pitched approximation of my voice

“nobody is making you do this” i am driven by unnatural forces you will never even begin to comprehend

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved