i cut my teeth on second hand sentiments

i say yay and yippee a lot but i mean it. i always mean it. *looks into the distance pensively*

Limos are such a stupid status symbol. Like yeah I'm rich. Did you see how long my car

you can make friends online and you will be rewarded with pictures of their cats

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

is anyone else their father’s female son

I’ll admit I’ve sent a 👍 in my time

Smug face of a free man

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.