i cut my teeth on second hand sentiments

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

Your three most recent emojis are your main personality traits

all kawaii on the western front

slamming your knights visor down when you’re finished talking to them, like slamming the phone back on the receiver.

Northanger abbey is when you go to your friends house and the dad starts yelling at them and you just stand there awkwardly

Lady of shallot. Lady of onion. Lady of garlic. Lady of chives.

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

*flirting with an older man* when i was born you had already attempted suicide once

[english butler voice] will you be 'rage-baiting' yourself again this evening by reading the reddit comments section, ma'am?

the doctor says i got an attention deficit so y'all gotta gimme more