mayhaps

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

An exclusive look into the workings of the mind of the average tumblr user

You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.

Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

americans are like i was gifted child but also i didnt learn other countries existed until i was 35 years old

making this post ruined my life

this post never fails to make me crave gummy orange slices

"you could just eat normal clementine slices?" NO! I want to eat ROCKS!

in the club sipping on that shit that makes every steven universe character hate you