A Dissociated Life

It’s an especially difficult time for systems as the idea of being multiple has become more sensationalized and widespread by popular media. I’m sure many of you have seen the Trish Paytas drama (And don’t worry, I’m not even getting into that) I’ve personally seen more and more people mentioning DID or OSDD (Mainly just DID so I might just say that but I love all of you OSDD systems <3)

I’ve also seen a lot more systems appearing in daily irl life. Now on the internet I feel this is normal. We seek each other out and form communities, but personally I think it’s a little more rare to meet other systems irl. We, for example, are not out as a system yet. 

I’m only going to use Trish Paytas as an example for this because one, I don’t have any other examples, and two, it’s pretty recent. A lot of people have been questioning the credibility of Trish’s self diagnosis, as she was seen projecting a lot of false information and was projecting some mildly offensive content such as the thumbnail of her eyes being crossed while supposedly switching. (I know I feel very self conscious about how I look when I switch in or out)

People say that she may be faking for attention as DID is becoming more sensationalized. This may be true, she’s made many claims in the past just as sudden as this, or as she stated in a video, she has been living with this her whole life. As I don’t think many of us know her personally, how are we to tell?

We can’t. I’m sure that most systems have felt like they are faking, I know we do (And I’m an alter, so how does that even work!) and for someone to accuse us of faking would shatter us. It has before.

We have worked very hard to appear as a functioning singlet as we’re not ready to be out as a system yet, so I do think that it would come as a shock to my irl friends as we don’t exactly seem to be a system in daily life. 

The thing is you can’t tell if someone is faking or not without tangible evidence, and usually the evidence is word of mouth. Even if you really really believe someone is faking being a system, I honestly wouldn’t try to call them out.

I know it is frustrating. I know that some people really would fake a disorder for attention and nothing else. DID and OSDD is something that is very personal and it’s a freaking survival method. Systems are not attention seeking, systems are survivors. 

But you never know if you are speaking to a true system or not no matter how it seems. It’s a harmful thing to accuse someone of faking, and as irritating as it is, or as offensive or hurtful, sometimes it is best to stay quiet. However if you have hard proof, that’s up to you on how you move forward.

It’s a strange time for systems as our community is being thrust into the light, and hard situations have become even harder. The important thing is to keep yourself safe, and if some sort of drama is getting to the point that you’re suffering more, you might have to step back and recollect yourself. It’s hard, and it takes strength, but if anyone has this strength it’s systems. 

DID and OSDD are complex, horribly stigmatized, and incredibly life altering (pun intended?) When it comes to accusing someone, the best approach is mainly to do nothing. No matter what you think, it is best to not proceed without solid proof. You never know how some people are struggling, and  it’s none of your business. 

Stay safe everyone, and no matter who you are, system or singlet, if you feel like you’re faking or not, you are valid, you are strong, you have every right to live. Take care of yourselves-Saorise

*The camera focuses on the host, is it the TV host or the system host? No one actually knows*

Good evening everyone, and welcome back to Dissociation Tonight. And now please welcome our special guest star...

*The guest star was not prepared to switch, and sits there, sort of panicking, trying to figure out what the actual fuck is happening*

“Moving on, let’s look at the current events”

*Cut to a montage of the day’s experience, complete with lots of overthinking, stress, general exhaustion and other fun feelings.*

And let’s look at the pressing matters.

*Cut to nothing. Because amnesia*

Thanks for watching and we’ll see you next time! 

*Cut to credits but the next scheduled time hardly lines up with the time the next episode is released because time and dissociation don’t like each other*

Completely forgetting to respond to the host’s name until there is someone standing over you yelling the host’s name.

Those times where a friend walks up to you but you don’t actually know their name.

Switching in a middle of a conversation and pretending you know exactly what’s going on.

Showing up to take a test, except you didn’t study, and you weren’t supposed to be the one taking the test, and, wait the test was in this period? What class is this again?

Just generally having no idea where you are, like seriously no clue.

Realizing that you’re the only one who doesn’t know a password/garage code/security code and you’re front stuck. 

People who say “you’re acting different today. Why?” 

Walking into a bathroom. Except that’s right, the body isn’t the same gender as you, but crap there’s people in here oh god oh fuck...

Someone is taking all of the pens, except you can’t ask anyone who is taking your pens because they’ll tell you you’re taking your own pens

Whoever got dressed that day is not your style and it’s slowly killing you but you can’t change

Having attention called to you the second you switched in

Two or more system members are arguing, and you really want to join in/tell them to be quiet/scream in annoyance but that would make you look crazy, and you already feel like you’re crazy. It’s a trap, now you’re stuck in a paradox of deep thoughts with people yelling in the background. And only you can hear them. 

That moment where you respond to an alter, except they’re in your head, and you’re in public. 

You’re the alter who doesn’t like to eat and you’re presented with food. And there’s nowhere to run.

And finally, you just switched in, and you’re tired and need to find a place to decompress, but by god this random person is talking and won’t stop, and you have no idea what’s happening and oh god a panic attack just left the station