I'm getting too old for this shit!

more characters should be 30+ years old

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

i drew this comic more than 10 years ago :) couldnt even tell u who i was thinking of now cuz i hardly remember… cant believe it resonated with so many people!!!

[ID: A fake poll with several options, each one without text and filled in a with different color to match the “do you love the color of the sky” post. End ID.]

Ahh compressed for our convenience, just what I like to see

i hate these motherfuckers so much. our sewer system used to be infested with them. they;d crawl out of my fucking toilet at night looking for warmth, standing up from the bowl waving their shitass little arms at me. they don’t have eyes but you can feel them staring back at you, asking for hugs or god knows what with that pathetic whine that permeates their entire way of existence. uppies! uppies! i’m not giving you uppies you wet toilet freak

The humble Olm.

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

Boy, did I assume something much worse.

OBSESSED with the fact that buttons got so popular in England during the 13th century that they had to pass laws limiting how many buttons you were allowed to put on a garment. They really had to bring in the government to shut down the button mania. Buttons are the sexiest clothing fastener.

yesss! and I remember reading in fashion history class that some women sewed Too Many buttons on their garments but argued their way out of the fines because the extra buttons had no matching buttonholes so OBVIOUSLY they weren't actually functional buttons but beads!

There's no end to the hilarious folly of sumptuary laws and the endless (even more hilarious) ways that people found around them. :)

Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.

It be like that

I know he ate a seal