Five-And-A-Half Minute Holeway

Jay-Z lists all the monsters his son will be possessed by

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this

i love making mutuals just to be too shy to talk to them

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

They’re saying i might be the next devourer of worlds

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter

if you want pluto to be a planet so bad get out there and fuck it with your penis so it gets big and pregnant. otherwise don't talk to me about it

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed