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Blogcast - listen to the audio version Youโve got a new match ๐๐๐ Iโve read this sentence hundreds of times. Comparatively rarely have I act
Blogcast - listen to the audio version โAre you still searching or are you already living?โ, initializes the profile text of Janett, 36. Her
โAre you still searching or are you already living?โ, initializes the profile text of Janett, 36. Her passions are Outdoors, Spirituality, Dogs, and Coffee. It seems we matched on Tinder 7 years ago but we never chatted there.ย
Looking at her profile picture now, it suddenly hits me: we already matched before on some other dating platform. We even went on a spontaneous date. Went for a walk together. I almost forgot. So many years, dates, and names with faces happened since then. I wonder what she's up to now. Let's continue reading her self-description.
Prefers deep talks to superficiality, sporty, self-reflective, open, honest, empathetic, silence, road to awareness, fight the ego, laugh-laugh-laugh, rather book than Netflix.
no go's: shyness, "Hello, what's up?", smoking, more than one selfie
Well, that's oddly specific. And hypocritical as well. We both have more than one selfie on our profiles. Whatever. That's the least perplexing thing on the list. I don't remember her being overly into 'deep' talks, neither self-aware nor empathetic. What I do remember is her not understanding me, be it lifestyle, philosophical points of view, or much else. I also remember her criticizing my posture and lack of body tension. Which compliments my view of the basic, ignorant, uneducated, superficial, unempathetic person I felt sorry for back then.
Maybe she changed and is a better person now. Like...a completely different person. Like...performing a 180-degree character turn better than Tony Hawk on a skateboard. Looks like she stopped smoking, too. Good for her.
Fits the narrative.
ChatGPT, round out my short story
I decide to message her, despite my doubts and reservations. I want to know if she truly has changed, or if this is just a facade. I ask her if she remembers me, and she responds almost immediately, saying that she does indeed remember me, and that she's sorry if she wasn't the best version of herself back then. She tells me about her journey to self-discovery, and how meditation and spirituality have changed her life. I am skeptical, but also curious. We decide to meet up, and I am surprised to find that she truly has changed. She is more grounded, more understanding, and more empathetic. We have a deep and meaningful conversation, and I realize that I have changed as well. We part ways, but I know that this won't be the last time we see each other. I am grateful for the chance to meet her again, and I am glad that we both took the time to grow and change. I am no longer searching, I am living.
Namaste. ๐
This article is part of my new series, Tinder Reflections. Follow me on Facebook and/or subscribe to my newsletter to get notified when I release the next episode.
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Blogcast - listen to the audio version Svenja, 35. Engineer. The oldest entry in my list of matches. Matched on October 3rd of 2014. Matched
Svenja, 35. Engineer. The oldest entry in my list of matches. Matched on October 3rd of 2014. Matched and never messaged. Lives 613 kilometers away now. How come โ Iโll never know. She must have been within a radius of 50 kilometers at some point, since that is my maximum distance setting on Tinder. Looks like another interesting life story. Just like these similar examples, to name but a few:
Each name comes with a face and key data. University, job, place of residence. Self-descriptions range from positive vibes to formal proposals. From insightful to spiteful. People are as different and unique as the sand grains of the Sahara. Nonetheless, I recognize patterns, fight prejudices, stay open-minded while valuing my own time, and get ghosted every once in a while.
But thatโs a story for another day. So far, these were only matches with which I never communicated. Looking at some of these nominal matches I wonder. Why? Was I really that desperate? Did I mindlessly auto-swipe right on all profiles, as many men do? I couldnโt have possibly found all of these pictures attractive, let alone those bland profile descriptions, or lack thereof. Whatever. I once read: men tend to select after matching, while women are more selective beforehand. Seems plausible to me. Strange new culture and good old biology.
ChatGPT, โWrite an interesting factoid related to my story:โ
A factoid related to your story is that according to a study published in the journal โPersonality and Individual Differences,โ men tend to swipe right more often on dating apps like Tinder, while women are more selective in their swiping. This is often referred to as the โswipe right biasโ and may explain why some men have many matches with women they never message.
ChatGPT, explain the possible psychological, cultural, and biological reasons behind โswipe right biasโ in more detail
The โswipe right biasโ on dating apps like Tinder can be explained by a combination of psychological, cultural, and biological factors.
From a psychological perspective, men may be more likely to engage in โriskyโ behaviors, including indiscriminately swiping right on dating app profiles, due to a desire for novelty and excitement. Additionally, men may be more likely to engage in what is known as โsocially desirable responding,โ or the tendency to give responses that are viewed as socially acceptable or desirable, leading them to swipe right more often to increase their chances of matching with someone.
From a cultural perspective, societal expectations and gender norms may play a role in the โswipe right bias.โ Men are often socialized to be more assertive and pursue romantic interests, which may lead them to take a more active role in seeking out potential partners on dating apps.
From a biological perspective, men may be more likely to engage in โmate-seekingโ behaviors, driven by the evolutionary desire to spread their genetic material and reproduce. This may lead them to be more indiscriminate in their swiping habits, in order to increase the number of potential partners they are exposed to.
Itโs also worth noting that while these explanations are general and some may apply more to some individuals than others, not all men engage in this behavior, and not all women are selective before swiping.
Don't miss new episodes of my series "Tinder Reflections". Follow me on Facebook, Tumblr and/or subscribe to my newsletter.
Blogcast - listen to the audio version Eight years is a long time. Relatively speaking. Seemingly enough time for Julia to leave her home, f
My new series "Tinder Reflections" featuring OpenAI's ChatGPT ๐ค โฆ surprisingly deep and insightful.
If you want to read the full story and future episodes, follow me on Facebook or check out my blog. Podcast format is available, too.
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." - Epictetus
Or in other words: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. ๐๐ ๐
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"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful." - Seneca
โน๏ธ Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BC โ AD 65) was a Roman Stoic philosopher. As "a major philosophical figure of the Roman Imperial Period", Senecaโs lasting contribution to philosophy has been to the school of Stoicism. He has been described as โa towering and controversial figure of antiquityโ and โthe worldโs most interesting Stoicโ.
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"Religion was invented the day the first con man met the first fool." - Mark Twain
๐ค๐ Twain's frankest views on religion appeared in his final work Autobiography of Mark Twain, the publication of which started in November 2010, 100 years after his death. In it, he said: There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory as it is โ in our country particularly and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree โ it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime โ the invention of Hell. Measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the Deity nor his Son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.
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It takes a skeptical mind, critical thinking, and most of all - proper, thorough research to learn what's really true.
โ๏ธโ๏ธ Do you believe that long-lasting condensation trails are "chemtrails" consisting of chemical or biological agents left in the sky by high-flying aircraft, sprayed for nefarious purposes undisclosed to the general public?
"It takes a skeptical mind, critical thinking and most of all proper, thorough research to learn what's really true." - @spreadfire1
๐คจ๐ค By skeptical I don't mean a general distrust in hundreds of years of scientific progress and research, just to replace it with wild, irrational claims and beliefs pulled out of your ass. Not all opinions are equal. It is good to not be easily convinced and having doubts or reservations without sufficient evidence. But when presented with evidence, we should at least be open to change our minds.
Don't hold on to any belief just for the sake of it. No matter how deep our emotional bond, no matter how much time you spent believing in said personal Truth. Giving it up after what we have invested in it may seem futile. It would be easy to engage in the sunk cost fallacy, though. The cost has already been incurred and cannot be recovered. Keep in mind what future costs may be avoided if action is taken (and false belief is disregarded). ๐ค๐
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I adapted the phrase "beauty in the eye of the beholder". Its literal meaning is that the perception of beauty (or in this case, art) is subjective - what one person finds beautiful another may not.
A related quote to this, which also applies to art: "Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them." - David Hume's Essays, Moral and Political, 1742
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Shouldn't we be content and happy with what we have, and be grateful for it?
๐๐ Should we get seasonal fruit or even better, grow it ourselves instead of imported exotic fruits? โ๏ธ Do we need two plane trips a year to visit exclusive, remote travel destinations? ๐ฒ Or can it be just as good, if not better, to stay at home or travel by bike and train? Better for ourselves, for our planet, for humankind, which in return benefits us and our children. There are so many ways to look at this. For example psychologically, or from an economical or ecological standpoint, etc. Do we always need more, better, bigger? When is it enough? Shouldn't we be content and happy with what we have, and be grateful for it? Maybe more people are currently realizing that during times like these, where public life and travel are restricted.
๐ Show your happiness and practice gratitude by following me. ๐
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"Always try to remember that most of the things that happen in this world arenโt signs. They happen because they happen, and their only real significance lies in normal cause and effect. Youโll drive yourself crazy if you start trying to pry the meaning out of every gust of wind or rain squall. Iโm not denying that there might actually be a few signs that you wonโt want to miss. Knowing the difference is the tricky part." - David Eddings
Is this the sign you've been looking for? ๐ค๐ Probably not, unless you're riding a boat up the river Salzach, looking for a spot to land. ๐๐
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When we don't know we say so. We don't pretend to know when there's no way to show.
The Creation of Adam is a fresco painting by Italian artist Michelangelo, which forms part of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, painted c. 1508โ1512. It illustrates the Biblical creation narrative from the Book of Genesis in which God gives life to Adam, the first man.
A common 'argument' by creationist apologists and believers to support this story is..."were you there?". This is of course a misconception of reality and a combination of several fallacies:
1. Shifting the burden of proof One way in which one would attempt to shift the burden of proof is by committing a logical fallacy known as the argument from ignorance. It occurs when either a proposition is assumed to be true because it has not yet been proven false or a proposition is assumed to be false because it has not yet been proven true.
2. Argument from incredulity I cannot imagine how P could be true; therefore P must be false. (Insert abiogenesis or evolution for P, in this case)
3. God of the gaps Gaps in scientific knowledge are taken to be evidence or proof of God's existence.
Of course, just because an individual has no explanation for something doesn't mean there is no natural explanation. We don't just get to insert the "God of the gaps" as a non-explanation whenever we lack a real explanation. When we don't know we say so. We don't pretend to 'know' when there is no way to show. There's nothing virtuous in having faith. It is the worst method to use when we want to learn what's true in reality.
Live long and prosper, fellow apes.
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Our path in life isn't a straight line. There are ups and downs, turns, and setbacks. Don't fight the waves but ride them. Embrace the whole storm in grateful expectation of seeing the rainbow after it settles.
Also, if we just constantly follow a narrow path, we risk missing out on many great things life has to offer. Slow down and stop every once in a while. Take a path you've never taken before. Explore and see what beautiful treasures lie beside the way. Take the time to admire and appreciate them.
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"Just to settle it once and for all: Which came first the Chicken or the Egg? The Egg - laid by a bird that was not a Chicken" - Neil deGrasse Tyson on his Twitter, 29. Jan. 2013
๐ฅ๐ฃ๐ What an easy yet profound answer to this age-old question. And, as a byproduct, explaining evolution almost single-handedly.
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