I love you because you are love

alcohol has no known effect on the human body

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

glad they added new maps to baseball

if he has abs he doesnt care about you

men with abs aren’t capable of love

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

(vagueposting) I saw a post I didn't like

I’m at the Cheesecake Factory and our server is a total lgbt tweaker. I am going to tip cash .

i want to do a painting of a tiger taking a bath to put in a bathroom (bathroom-themed bathroom) and to this end i made a little maquette out of clay and i suspect this will scope creep into having both a painting and sculpture of a tiger or perhaps only a sculpture of a tiger. if i do both should they be displayed together or separately

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them