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her cock was an undersea fiber optic cable and Brother i was a hungry shark

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

you’re just jealous my blood is all over the floor and yours is stuck inside your body

im not horny it’s something else entirely. really wish there was a word for it

i think i just want to run. Like i just want to run

dude wait. what if we got really close together so we feel safe

the fact that putting a vibrator on your nose makes you sneeze implies a whole world of semivoluntary effects that can occur from using it on different parts of your body but as far as I know it's just the two

posts like this are why you should all be thankful i don't have a sideblog

whats the other one

i forgot

life is so awesome if we ignore all that