oof dawg

its suck my motherfucking dick sunday

nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe

her gussy translucent

You landlocked ass sad motherfuckers... hoes love stagnant water

ive been thinking about “hoes love stagnant water” every day since i read this 

what i like about this is that the people seem just. unthreatened. they are responding to these nightgaunt looking motherfuckers as if they were a particularly rambunctious opossum. “oh god damn the shadow entity stole our ball again what the fuck dude we’re trying to play horse.” perfect, i love it. 

If you’re cold, they’re cold! BRING👏THEM👏INSIDE👏

Holy shit the body language in that last one is KILLING ME.

Super big fan of these nightmarish beings having the personality of cows and/or outside cats

@normal-horoscopes

“Well shit Martha, this one’s got seven eyes! Seven! Would you look at that”

I love memes like this because it implies billionaires aren’t people

This is what hozier meant when he says he falls a little bit in love everyday with someone new

I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said “there you go sweeties - that will be more comfortable” before shuffling off and… I think about her often.

« Silent lovers » is such a sweet way to put it.

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER