nat

how is the grimes/musk baby supposed to fill out a scantron with their name

Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

i make ya man wanna speak spanish

Italian*👼

make ur own sphagetti ass post giada de laurentis

I firmly believe what ever you're obsessed with at 11/12 years old becomes a core part of who you are, regardless if you lose interest in it or not. Maybe some of you were lucky and were obsessed with warrior cats or smth, and if you're real unlucky it was probably twilight.

LMAO

when youre an upper middle class white woman but you want to be oppressed really bad so you Go Off on twitter at people skipping your 3 page rants that theyre obligated to read (and enjoy) bc you performed the emotional labor of having a recipe blog

Im going to lose my goddamn mind

Quaruntine has me feeling 16 and hopelessly stupid again like yeah I can stay up until four am watching cosplay makeup tutorials and then pierce my own belly button in a sleep deprived stupor & this time I have whiskey too

My australian shepherd jumped into my moms lap and everyone else left and got a dog or a kid to have with the during the meetin

bitches will bring a million things to do on a train ride or long car trip and then spend the entire time looking out the window and daydreaming. i’m bitches

bitches will plan a million things to do during self-isolation and then spend the entire time mindlessly scrolling through social media. i’m bitches

i love watching actors pretend to drink from empty cups. they can’t do it. it’s like they never drank anything in real life. doesn’t matter if they went to julliard or yale or have an egot or played hamlet on the west end. time traveling? fighting aliens? finding seth rogen attractive? no problem. but give them an empty cup and gravity fights against them. their imagination has limits.

have you ever tried to do it? to make an empty cup appear full? to pretend to drink air in between saying lines and hitting marks? do you know what it’s like to have gravity turn its back on you in front of a crowd? when there is nothing in your hand but a plastic cup filled with oxygen and everyone knows it including god? huh? you coward? you clown of all clowns?

nope! acting is the devil’s sport!

He's perfect for the role

the last sentence hits you like a train