Oh, did I spill that?

I guess you were never mine to have

You never heard my heavy breath

never that simple, I guess

Our souls never belonged

Our Hearts never one

Never our song

Never fine

Never

I’m suffocating in the crowd And you watch and watch Smiling at this sound Of breath leaving my lungs You’re gorgeous, I confess Your eyes grin at my words It’s gorgeous I guess To watch me die in the crowd I’m glad that you laugh Hands, feet and arms sheathing And I am suffocating But for now I’m still breathing

My heart beats to the beat of  people raisingfrom their seats Clapping their hands My heart grows with fear, grows and grows So huge, my chest can’t hold it It’s in my hands now Hilarious that it’s actually a perfect fit The crowd reaches for this thing red ad bleeding There’s a damn hole in my chest But I’m still breathing I would give it to you If only you would ask I would make it through All of these bodys and voices and sounds Too much, I think Too much to endure for a heart in my hands And I fall, I fly, I sink deeper down into the crowd My lungs won’t obey Still serving, still suffering, still seething I try to bring this to an end But I’m still breathing.

Why can’t we all go to Wonderland? Just for a while to see the maddest of all hatters and cats with quite a style  you know there’s this thing about Wonderland Falling ‘till we fly Playing pranks with Cheshire Cat hidden behind his smile

Let’s just go to Wonderland no matter how weird it gets visit the queen with white roses in our hands off with our heads

Lets just follow the white rabbit run and stop the time madness bottled in teapots to weird, to be a lie

If we would go to Wonderland I would take your hand for the first time and the last time and we would never end

So he doesn’t want me. 

Wich is fine. It’s fine.

It was fine, 

when he kissed me for the first time.

Even though it was all slobber.

It was fine, 

when he made me laugh for a week.

It was fine,

when he made me think I could actually like him.

I could have. I really could have.

It was fine 

when he kissed me for the second time.

It was fine, really. 

and i was fine, 

when he never talked to me again

It was fine when he never smiled at me again.

It was fine that I let him cut me out. 

It was fine.

Honestly I don't need him

He is slow and spineless and grieving

So he does’nt want me.

Which is fine. It’s fine. 

But he doesn’t want me. 

Why?

Why?

Why?

So he doesn’t like me. 

Why? 

Is it my look?

My voice?

Is it my smile?

Why?

The way I talk?

The way I am?

The way I cry?

Why?

Why?

That's all I want

From what you call a relationship

No big heart hunt

No flowers No songs

Just a look in my soul

Just an invitation into yours

And this sentence

Someone just as messed up as I am

Someones heart just as weird as mine

Seeing through me and saying it anyways

Would you please teach me how to cope

How to laugh

How to hope

I don't care about calculation

Or Poes Poems

Or their adaptations

Teach me how to dream

How to love

How to scream

You say it's useless, but... Nope

Dear teacher,

That I'm not enough

It's not because of money

It's not because of food

It's not because of expectations

Not even of your mood

Not even of society,