Bug

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Dude frying my tendies at the raising cane's has the black nitrile gloves over the hairy forearms this is not good. Puppy's leaking. The situation in my Target boxer briefs is gonna go from Gushers to Go-Gurt real fast here. I'm so horny I deserve to have copper wire snaked through my teeth

If the backrooms post can get a movie then so can this

trying to pass off "i just blew 50 bucks" as a normal thing to say but i just left the boreal forest and my shirt and face and hair are sticky and soaked and. listen you can read the blog name you know what i did

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

the forest is also a metaphor for his bush

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

the TSA's dick detector is the epitome of security theater. how many times have you ACTUALLY caught a woman trying to smuggle a small bomb in her panties

i mean average sized bomb

happy if you have scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with your sexuality july

you people aren't CASTING

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been