Bluh bluh huge blog

sometimes when a kitty is sunbathing you can just kiss the little furs. and it smells like freshly baked cat. it's true, I saw it happen

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

I’d just like to point out the growth in this post has mostly coincided with elon’s public spiral downward and I’d like to think we’re all a small part of that

bro can’t think because he’s just got a rager of a migraine 24/7

yes I would like to give elon musk my menstrual pain. I think he deserves it

Reblog to also give Elon Musk your menstrual pain.

trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

This is the most fun this man has ever had in his entire life

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

sorry if I don't respond to message for the next 20 minutes I just ate a peach so ripe and juicy and soft and flavorful that I was in hog heaven and am now mourning the fact I inhaled it like a famished beast

nah y'all don't understand that peach was so ripe every bite was overflowing with sweet juice that I was slurping up like a man stranded in a desert finding an oasis so it wouldn't drip on me or my clothes. oh my god it was so potent with flavor I could not think anything other than about that peach, it was so firm in my hands but so soft as I bit into it too. I should have known how beautiful eating this peach was going to be when I was cutting it into fourths and the knife glided around the pit like it was nothing. oh my god it tasted so good like nectar from a goddess and I should probably stop carnally describing how good this peach was before someone asks what's wrong with me

OH MY FUCKING GOD?!?!?!!

it's. fat fucking boobies sunday. reblong to honk those thangs