Felonious Spaghetti

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

to be honest, kitten doesnt know how many more “ok 💗 yay 💗”s they have left in them

whose dumb ass idiot fuck idea was it to make medicine cost money

go to triple hell

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

listening to a man break up with his partner on the train and the first sentence I heard was "I just don't appreciate you cheating on me six different times, once with my own father."

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

you people aren't CASTING

Chapter 3 is now up!

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great

Happy horse on mars day