The (Shipped) Gold Standard

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

we're abolishing gender! in the future people will just be referred to as AMAB or AFAB, no need for gender at all! 😀

this is a progressive stance, you see, because AMAB and AFAB are different words from "man" and "woman." we're leaving such outdated concepts behind!

no no no it's not "misgendering you." it doesn't refer to your gender, it refers to the sex you were assigned. that way we don't need gender anymore! you can just throw that old thing away

now there's only two categories: AMABS and AFABS! so much simpler! what? no I didn't say there's only two genders. these aren't genders they're categories. this is progress we're making progress

you want to change your assignment? because of what, your gender? no you don't need one of those, I said to get rid of it

what about those of us who are ABBA?

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

So much Red Bull sponsorship...

Wdym finally????? Have we forgotten the ancient texts????? Does no one remember Ice Princess????

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

or at least until 2041!