@the-trans-dragon - Tumblr Blog

A fish walks into a bar.

"Hey, there you are!" the bartender says. "We've been lookin' all over for you! Where've you been?"

The fish says, "Canada."

#sorenhoots #hehehhehee this is the FUNNIEST thing to me right now because i havent slept yet amd Sleepy Brain is easily amused #i kiiinda dont wanna explain it bc i THINK itll confuse the hell out of me in the future. and that sounds hilarious.#BUT ill ALSO have to BE future-me #soooooo for future me 💜 u can have the Explanation. tiktaalik was the 'missing link' between aquaric and terrestrial life! it could be #called the fish that walked on land. even though other fish do that now lol. anyways the tiktaalik fossil was found in canada!#the FUNNIEST part of the joke...however....is how INCOMPREHENSIBLE and BEFUDDLING the answer might sound #to someone who doesnt connect the dots between walking fish and canada. the sheer juxtaposition of the ridiculousness of the joke #and the technically logical Punch line are soooo funny to sleepy me. hhehehehee.... canada.

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amnhnyc

The titan arum (Amorphophallus titanum) flower rarely blooms, but when it does, the sight—and smell—can be utterly breathtaking. This plant’s giant bloom can grow up to 9 ft (2.7 m) tall and emits a powerful perfume that resembles the stench of rotting flesh. Why? To some insects, it’s a seductive scent, luring potential pollinators toward the female parts of the flower, where they can pick up pollen and carry it off to fertilize other flowers. This spectacular display is short lived, occurring for only about three days once every two or three years.

Photo: Yash Bhagwanji, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist

zukana13731

Here's what one looks like not bloomed

#YAAAAAY AMORPHOPHALLUS TITANUM #LOVE THE ETYMOLOGY OF THIS THING. QUALITY BINOMIAL NOMENCLATURE.

wtf-scientific-papers

Submitter comment: I'd like to submit this '[s]tudy of defensive behavior of a venomous snake as a new approach to understand snakebite' not for it's topic (worth studying!) but for it's insane methodology, which... well, I'll just let the researcher speak for himself:

[Q: Why did you decide to do this experiment?

A: Snake behavior has been generally neglected as a field of research, especially in Brazil. And most studies don’t examine what factors make them want to bite. If you study malaria, you can research the parasite that causes the disease—but if you don’t study the mosquito that carries it, you will never solve the problem. Up until now, the popular wisdom was that the jararaca would only attack if you touched it or stepped on it. But that was not what we found.

Q: Why did you need to be the victim?

A: The best way to do this research is to put snakes and a human together. In this case, the human was me. We put the snakes inside a ring on the floor of our lab until they got used to it, then I stepped in wearing special protective boots. I stepped close to the snake and also lightly on top of it. I didn’t put my whole weight on my foot, so I did not hurt the snakes. I tested 116 animals and stepped 30 times on every animal, totaling 40,480 steps.]

From the recent (aptly named) interview: Researcher steps on deadly vipers 40,000 times to better predict snakebites

dragongirl-casca

edwardrockbell

oh my god it’s him

beardedmrbean

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bowelfly

hands you some bugs

papayajuan2019

in of body experience

gayrobot9000

LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT

gayrobot9000

i'm a girl now

sorens-art

4 hour painting! 20 minutes on the color, the rest on the silhouettes 🤭 progress photos under the cut

#my art #>:3 my art my art my art!!!! so pleased with it!!!!!!#sorenhoots

transmortifried

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

charlesoberonn

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

anatomizer

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

thepersonalmossblog

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

haaarpb

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myriapoda-1306

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

torstherapy

tinsnip

Per @spoonstrek

orcboxer

Wait! I can change! *grotesquely transforms into a snarling ghoul*

escuerzoresucitado

#whats that phrase? the reward for doing good labor is more labor? idk something like that

hollowistheworld

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

lordnot

You'll also notice that these are all problems that are framed as solvable through individual planning, willpower, and dedication

Which is a great way to distract people from examining the societal systems and structures that are responsible for the problem in the first place.

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huffylemon

hell yeah baby

mercurialmilk

New reaction image for ‘posting something on the internet and having it be wildly misinterpreted’

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