I'M A PHYSICAL MIRACLE

Colonial America, maybe.

The way Europeans talk about North America when they say it reveals everything about the way they think.

To them, history here didn’t start until they arrived. Not until the so called real people with real culture and real architecture and real timelines stepped off a boat.

Everything before that gets treated like fog, like background noise, like a blank landscape waiting to be drawn on.

Like the Europeans arrived here and just found a land untouched by human hands ready for them to Manifest (European) Destiny in, instead of, like, a continent full of nations older than most European countries, with civilizations, trade routes, astronomy, agriculture, laws, stories, cities, innovations, relationships to the land that go further back than many of the languages used to belittle them.

When Europeans say “America is big,” they don’t even mean the actual land full of over 500 nations of distinct peoples.

They mean the unmarked page they imagine they wrote on. When they say “Europe is old,” they mean “ours is the old that matters.” The implication is always that Indigenous history doesn’t count as history at all, that Indigenous people were somehow outside the timeline until colonialism kicked the clock into motion.

I’m tired of watching it walk by unchallenged and seeing it drift by unchallenged.

North America wasn’t waiting to be discovered.

It wasn’t empty wilderness.

It wasn’t without time or culture or memory.

It was already ancient when the Europeans arrived.

Treating Indigenous people like footnotes or shadows just makes it embarrassingly obvious that a lot of Europeans still don’t see them as real people with real history, real innovation, and real presence.

To put it in the simplest, most basic terms that I can, right now, the best way I can describe my gender is that I am a. Wolf or a dog. Which sounds a bit like the setup to that one "on all levels but physical, I am a wolf" vine, but I mean it sincerely and genuinely. I feel at my best dressing like a dog, collar, ears, the whole shebang. I feel best being addressed and treated (respectfully, kindly) like a wolf. It's a bit like being a therian, except it's not. A bit like 24/7 petplay, except absolutely not. It's just this... weird, nebulous thing outside the traditional human gender binary. It even feels weird to call myself non-binary - though I don't quite mind it because it's the closest approximation of what I am, that we have language for - because I feel like I exist even outside of that. Like, if gender is a line plot graph, I am out of the picture completely, I am just. Not there at all, ahah.

And it feels absolutely fucking impossible to tell anyone about, because at best I feel like no one else really gets it and is just humoring an insane person, and at worst I fear being called names, laughed at, and forced into a box I don't fit into just to be treated like a person. Because that's the real bitch of it all; my gender exists outside of being human, I feel best being addressed like I'm not a person, but I still want what every other person wants. Kindness. Respect. Community. Safety. I may not want to be fully human, but I still want human rights, y'know? And I worry that, by being myself, I will lose people close to me because they don't get it, they don't understand it, and they can't treat me with respect. Because I refuse to fold myself into another shape just to have people respect me. My only hope is that, by posting about it, by finding the courage to talk about it more openly, I can find people who get it. Who are willing to meet me where I am with neither of us stooping. And just... live. As myself.

What's your blog title from?

What movie have you watched most recently? What did you think of it?

what are you looking forward to right now?

if you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

What's your drink of choice? (Coffee/tea order, alcohol of choice, pop, etc)

What's your hair routine like? Anything special?

what's your favorite way to travel? Is there a mode of travel you haven't done that you want to experience?

favorite month of the year and why?

favorite time of day and why?

do you play or follow any sports? & elaborate on that?

what kind of music is stuck in your head a lot lately?

dishes or laundry?

what's something you learned recently?

if you could give a TED talk on anything, what would you talk about?

What's a piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

what's a piece of advice you would give to yourself five years ago?

do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any lucky rules?

Are you musical? Play any instruments or sing? Would you ever perform for an audience?

Write, type, or speak?

reblog & your followers can send asks with the questions they’d like you to answer!

the last sentence you wrote

a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

how you feel about your current WIP

a story idea you haven’t written yet

first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

the word that appears the most in your current draft (wordcounter.net can tell you)

your preferred writing fonts

if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

a WIP you’d like to finish someday

a trope you’re really into right now

a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

where do you get your inspiration?

favorite weather for writing

favorite place to write

talk about your writing and editing process

if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

in what year did you publish your first fic?

when did you publish your most recent fic?

do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

pick three keywords that describe your writing

how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

are you able to write with other people around?

your favorite part of the writing process

your least favorite part of the writing process

how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

No nuance, no suburbs. Where do your loyalties lie.

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

can talk and keeps asking you

to make it vodka.