Learn to Throw Your Voice

i did a google search for "most recent invention" which my girlfriend said was something strong bad would do

I think if we all start posting nipples at once they won't be able to stop all of us. and by they I don't just mean tumblr staff I'm referring to the entire world. I think the nipple is a very destigmatizable body part and I expect/demand it to be a normal thing within my lifetime. the fear of nipples is so weird and archaic, it's a body part dude

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

it also makes me doubt how happy they actually are with having the kids why do you feel the need to broadcast you've changed your mind and are happy now just be happy no need to be a missionary for making more babies those are not yours chill

Here to counter the flood of mommy comments: I've known since I was 13 that I never wanted children. I'll be 43 in August and I've had zero babies and it's awesome.

Just one of many insightful messages that can be unlocked by performing the "dragging your sleepy tired cat's paws over the phone keyboard until she gets sick of your nonsensical fascination with the Glowing Rectangle Thing and leaves" mini game :D

every time a trans woman stops starving herself and becomes fat instead an angel gets their wings

Reblog to give an angel their wings

Sam Handwich.

Steven Universe Heritage post

i was on the way to the movies & i saw an old guy with a piece of wood over his shoulders. it was huge -- a pole several feet long with a kind of wide fan at the end of it. and i said "what the hell is that?" and he looked at me and had this kind of ear to ear grin, and he said "what do you mean 'what the hell is that'?" and he sat back on his heels, still with that big smile like the sun spilling from the underside of a cloud and waited for me to answer and i said "i mean i don't know why you're walking around with that thing, whatever it is." and he laughed and put down his pole and kinda clapped me on the shoulder. "can i get you a drink?" he said. and i said "no, the show's in ten minutes," and he said "oh? what are you seeing?" and i said "christopher nolan's odyssey, i'm pretty excited," and he sighed and picked up his oar and kept walking.

I don’t get the joke :( someone help me

in some versions of the Odysseus legend, Odysseus leaves Ithaca and is supposed to wander the world carrying a ship's oar until he finds a place where no one knows what it is. here, he encounters someone who doesn't recognize it, but since the narrator is going to see a movie version of the Odyssey, that anonymity can't last & he has to keep wandering.