spooky o.o

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.

i am saying this thing is like stone to me. i am saying i have taken a pickaxe and a plow and a chisel and a spoon to it and i have made no dent or scratch in the surface. i have pushed and pushed, sisyphus beside me, and still my skin gave before the stone could.

i am telling you if there is a passage i do not see or some kind of clever way to thwart this enemy i'll take it. i've been up down and sideways of it, i've whispered to it and cajoled it and sang to it. i have tended to it like a kitten and i've kicked it to the curb. i have exhausted all available avenues and approaches as are available to me. i'll do whatever stupid fetch quest or answer the riddles three. i am standing here and every part of my body hurts and the stone is unmoved. please. if you know how to resolve this, i'm begging you.

Tired people do not always need instructions. Sometimes they need understanding. Sometimes they need someone to look at everything they have been carrying and simply acknowledge that it is heavy. Sometimes they need someone to sit beside them and say, "That sounds really hard," instead of trying to turn their pain into a problem-solving exercise.

I think a lot of people spend so much time being resilient that they forget how desperately they want comfort. They become so used to handling things alone that when they finally admit they are struggling, what they secretly hope for is warmth. Reassurance. Gentleness. The feeling of not having to carry everything by themselves for a moment.

So if you have been wishing somebody would stop giving advice and just hold space for you, I hope you know there is nothing wrong with that. Wanting comfort does not mean you are weak. Wanting kindness does not mean you are incapable. It just means you are human.

I am sorry things have been so difficult. I am sorry you have been carrying so much. You do not have to justify your exhaustion or earn your right to be comforted. You deserve compassion simply because you are hurting, and sometimes a hug really is more helpful than a hundred solutions.

If you are reading this and thinking, "I do not need advice. I think I need a hug," then this is me offering one.

A big, warm, virtual hug.

The kind where nobody expects anything from you. The kind where you do not have to explain yourself or justify why you are struggling. The kind where you can just exist for a minute and let yourself be tired.

You do not have to earn comfort. You do not have to prove that things are bad enough. If you are hurting, you deserve kindness.