Love Me Like A Hurricane

[Image ID: Tweet from verified user Martha Kelly (@/ MarthaKelly3) reading: Sorry but if we let people choose their own gender then what's next? Something else that's none of my business and won't harm me in the slightest? I mean where does it end? /End ID]

Nature is healing

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

idk who needs to hear this but it’s healthier for you to just accept that you’re gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesn’t want to hold onto

[Image ID: Tweet from Yasha (@/ yashatovah) on 2021-06-01 reading: Yeah, olive oil and cheese and pastries can make you a little fat. Yeah, sunshine gives you wrinkles and wine ruins your liver and spending money on pretty things eats up you savings. But unfortunately, I've decided to enjoy life anyways /End ID]

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

[Image ID: Tumblr post from estrellasrojas on 2 nov 2024 reading: The average tumblr user's attept at smug condescension doesn't even work because they're so profoundly stupid and unaware of literally anything in the world /End ID]

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from joey-wheeler-official reading: as opposed to the regular macbeth, which has no death or murder in it /End ID]

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from armory-rasa reading: And if you rate it anything less than five stars they're like "Do you need us to kill the clerk who checked you out? Your satisfaction is our top priority. Just so the word and he's a dead man. :)" /End ID]

i love discovering new music. but there's actually nothing like rediscovering old music. like, hello me from 5, 10, 15 years ago. so good to see you. same heart, i see. god, i love you.

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

“that was so cool, please never do it again” is a phrase i find myself saying to my dog far too often

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: man it's so rad that you succeeded at that thing you just tried out, but if you hadn't the vet bill would have been astronomical, today he decided to launch himself up to the halfway point of the basement stairway, from the side, perpendicular to the stairs, 6ft vertical leap, never do that again, it was so cool /End ID]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch