Home of the Soupiest Squid

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself

oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why

i hope this is the pride month that something lesbian happens to me. preferably something freaky

at this point i’d accept a hand hold. just anything really

like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the grocery store tank that'd somehow lost a rubber band and every other lobster was huddled in the opposite corner of the tank in a big lobster pile (presumably because the freed lobster was an asshole about having a free claw) like. im done with crab in a bucket mentality. You're not even trying to pull everyone else down to get out and climb up yourself, you're just being a dick. Unshackled lobster in a tank mentality

Wish sunflower seeds were the size of my head so I could hold one in both hands and eat it like a little hamster

letd go eat parts of that guys car

Msg literally stands for Makes Shit Good so why would you not want it

Glados learning sign language so Chell can hear at least one of her excellent monologues and Chell just closes her eyes

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

I just napped in bed with a ray of sunlight cast upon me. Man, this is cats shit. I get it cats. That's rpretty good.

why did they brand a handprint on a man in 2008. gay marriage wasn’t even legal in new york yet.