Ramblings

optimization makes so many things better and safer and easier, but we also lose so much sauce and juice. like how every car now is a ridiculous jelly bean because it's all crumple zone so you can flip your car 6 times going 80 mph and walk away from the accident, but the price you pay is that your car is a big dumb jelly bean, and we will never look as cool as they did in the 70s, when 1 milliom people died every day bc they got distracted lighting their daughter's cigarette for her and drove their 10,000 pound oldsmobile cutlass through the steel railing of a bridge and instantly sank to the bottom of a river

aftercare for posting on ao3

your fic was good you did grammar good you’re the kind of freak people like everything’s cool dude :^)

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

personal agenda. Personal.

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

Oh, this is remarkably of its era. I was just viscerally launched back to the specific amalgamation of meme printouts my roommate and I decorated our bulletin boards with senior year of college.

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

/r/CheetahTooHigh

constantly trying to see the inherent good in people is a humiliation ritual that i continue to willingly participate in

its kind of fun to uninstall programs you arent using to free up space and see them all beg for their lives

Sometimes you log on to tumblr dot com and see your beloved mutuals thirsting over unrisen sourdough men and you have to say a very very quiet ‘pass’ to yourself and let it go because inevitably the flat circle of time will bring around your turn to go gaga over some butterface dude or bug eyed girl and you must know that your beloved mutuals are saying a quiet ‘pass’ to themselves and leaving you to your moment of insanity in peace.

hey can everyone do me a favor and put in the tags why they chose their name? even if you don't go by a chosen name irl, you can put why you chose your online name.

my rooster doesn’t crow when the sun rises, he crows when he hears humans wake up, like you can literally just roll over in bed and he’s like “hoLY SHIT THAT’S A PEOPLE THE HUMAN ISAWAKE AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

the same rooster - god guys he’s so cute - he always lets hens eat treats first and won’t have any treats until they’ve had as much as they want, unless it’s a blueberry. shit, blueberries are like serious fucking business for Pharaoh. he’s a gentleman until the damn blueberries come out and then he don’t play no fuckin games