Sorry, Still Not Ginger

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

Yeah that checks out.

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

RIP Anthony Stewart Head, an incredible actor, musician, singer, LGBTQ+ ally and activist, devoted girl dad, and father figure to many of us as we grew up.

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

Audio:

Hello, Tumblr! The doctor who ebook preservation society has an exciting announcement: we have massively updated the library! Please check out our new pinned post and make sure you're spreading that one around - the link to the new library is here: