Stuff and Things. @sometimesibreathefire - Tumblr Blog

devil may cry boss: hey get the fuck out. disgusting human bitch. fuck you. ill kick your ass.

dante: haha pizza bing bing wahooie party *clown honk* *does three backflips*

dmc boss, everytime, without fail:

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finding-a-way-to-run-away

Parent: yells at and threatens child over a mistake

Child: doesnt want to spend time with them afterwards

Parent:

tasmanianstripes

Parent:*yells at and threatens child over a mistake*

Child:*doesn’t want to admit their mistakes and starts keeping secrets from their parent*

Parent:

this-account-is-a-mistake

parent: *yells at and threatens child over them self-harming*

child: *doesn’t talk to parents about their issues and feels worse*

parent:

chibi-blue-scapula

Parent: *attributes all their child’s achievements to god and all the mistakes to the child*

Child: *actively avoids academic achievement and becomes an atheist*

Parent:

thou-creature-of-the-deep

THAT LAST ONE IS WHY I STOPPED ATTENDING CHURCH AFTER I STARTED THERAPY.

bri-lin-biscuit

Parent: *uses personal info,told to them in confidence as ammo to make child feel bad*

Child: *never tells the parents about how they feel or their personal insecurities*

Parent:

therapist-anon-deactivated20220

wolfsteax

wow this tea is exceptionally tasty tonight thank you

bithighs

brittascribbles

Yeah but the past is the past

gburanddragons

These

Tables

Are

So

Freakin

GOOD!

Shoutout to Lady Tiefling for being kickass.

dungeons-and-danis

I’ve compiled every raw ass quote from tumblr shitposts into my phone and i’m gonna use every single one of them in my campaign at some point.

dungeons-and-danis

peruse my quotes, if u want

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yourplayersaidwhat

Are we the bad guys?

NPC: “Ah yes! We’ve heard of your group. You specialize in sleeping your victims and then gruesomely murdering them!”

Druid: is that our thing? When did that become our thing?!

DM: Well you’ve done it at least once every session so yeah… it’s your thing

Entire party has an alignment crisis

canadiangold

best thing i learned today: “The Loud American” role in Japanese businesses

canadiangold

nobody asked but imma explain anyway

no idea how it came up, but my programming prof was talking about his friend who works for Nintendo Japan who’s secondary role is The Loud American, and my prof explained what that was and how it came about

see, in Japan you do not talk back to your boss. you just don’t, even if they have stupid ideas and want the company to act on them. Like Nissan did sometime back. But since the other employees couldn’t do anything about this terrible idea that would ruin the company, they called in an American who had no reservations about telling the boss that their stupid idea was a stupid idea

and that’s just become a role in Japanese businesses, where they keep an American on staff who plays up the American stereotype and tells the boss what the Japanese employees can’t or won’t out of societal norms

friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt

dream job.

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

How much do they pay per hour for me to sit around and every so often storm into the bosses office and call his ideas stupid as fuck?

.

#I just don’t honestly think I’d be missed

queenbruv

percy jackson audiobooks but they’re narrated by john mulaney

jupiterforbreakfast-deactivated

“You want the lightning bolt? Go get it!”

ninazeniky

Gods: glad u survived the monsters we saw it from the throne room.

Percy: and you SAW what the monsters were doing to us

Gods: yeah bc we were sitting on the thrones

Percy: and yet you did NOTHING

Gods: ya bc we were SITTING on the THRONES

jupiterforbreakfast-deactivated

*minotaur shows up to the Battle of Manhattan* and THAT’S when the afternoon went from BAD to TERRIBLE

nero-neptune

“I’ve never really cared about Greek Mythology. But then, last spring, the STRANGEST THING happened!”

“And then Mr. D said: “If I had my way, I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames.” You know, how you talk to a child.“

villans-eve

“Grover asked me if I liked Annabeth, and I said “No.” You know, like a liar.“

conflagreat

I think you guys have a basic misunderstanding of what audiobooks are.

exhaustedjokester

I think you have a basic misunderstanding of what audiobooks NEED to be

tsunderestimated

I havent had hot cocoa in YEARS

sealion-six-deactivated20190829

Well it’s probably cold now

tsunderestimated

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lost-space-cadet

When I click on a video and it tries to send me to another app:

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Paladin™: when you’re kinda feeling cleric but also want to Stab

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Sorcerer™: when you wanna be a caster but you don’t wanna be a nerd

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Bard™: when you’ve never made a decision in your life and you don’t intend to start now

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Warlock™: when you’re not quite ready to admit you’re into cryptids like that

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Druid™: when honestly you’d rather be on the floor petting the DM’s cat but they made you play and this is the next best thing you guess

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Fighter™: when all the weird puzzle shit bores the snot out of you and you’d rather stack dice til the fighting part gets here

battlecrazed-axe-mage

Rogue™: when you’ve never solved a problem in your life, and in fact have caused many, and you’re just fine with that honestly

This is exactly why I don’t ever open up to people about a single goddamn thing.

#personal

cakemakethme

Terry Crews coming in with some wisdom

sociallyawkwardhufflepuff

we need terry painting like bob ross on tv everyday

kingslacky

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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vinegardoppio

“whats jojos bizarre adventure about”

that’s it, that’s the whole series

memesandlaughs

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