I was gonna say something funny here but I forgot

one of newton's lesser-known laws is that if you reload something that is buffering, it will start playing at the precise moment your finger completes the motion to refresh the tab

omg some of you are dumb. that's not newton, that's special relativity.. ya know, einstein!!

your special relative pounded me into the mattress last night. happy mother's day.

If that trans girl gets super weirdly apologetic, like is borderline apologizing for breathing or is apologizing for things that are basically nothing/happened forever ago, whatever you do, do not leave her alone. Chances are it's one of two things, and neither of them are good; she's either bordering on a breakdown and thinks basically everything she does is wrong, or is past that point and desperately wants to make sure no one's angry at her before she hurts herself/takes her own life. You might think it's weird, you might get tired of it and want to push her away, but for the love of god do not do that. Her apologizing every 0.5 seconds is because she's been taught not to value her own emotions, but they're overpowering her and she doesn't know what to do other than apologize like her life depends on it. Her life might not depend on it, but it very well could depend on how you respond to her heart's most desperate cries for help

brazilians, imagine you’re a famous futebol player and are about to hit the winning penalty kick at the world cup finals. accidentally, the referee tosses a christian baby at you. would you still kick the baby to the goal and win the hexa championship, and sacrifice the christian baby?

Let’s fucking go

this book I’m reading on female evolution for some reason uses bill and hillary clinton as examples of the typical differences between male and female vocal structures and the author is like “imagine if bill clinton had a throat sac like an ape which caused his voice to resonate” don’t say that? I don’t want to imagine that?

billiam clinton saying his famous line “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” in a booming voice that can be heard up to two miles away and everyone starts hooting like monkeys and banging their fists on their chests

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue