Lisa draws

I sometimes wonder why I'm even making comics anymore. It's easy to answer: because I like telling stories through pictures. But I don't read webcomics anymore. I still read printed comics. Recently, I've picked up some manga reading again. I read the beginnings of Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon for the first time. I'm at book 4 of Atelier of Witch Hat. I read some German comics and the first volume of Calvin & Hobbes. And I still enjoy that.

But webcomics? I remember having been really interested in the webcomics scene around 2016 when I started my own comic (Green&Gold). The scene was very different back then, very small. I think a big difference to now is that there was just a lot less art out there. So everything was valued more. Now, when I scroll through my feeds, it's like fast food to me. I hate that. I want to stop and go through a new artist's whole gallery. But the galleries have vanished, so I'm stuck scrolling (paradoxically).

Same with webcomics. But also ... the whole scene feels like it's not *me* anymore? I used to like BLs. But now I don't like them anymore. My tastes changed. What even is my taste now? I have no idea. I've never been much of a consumer, I often skimmed through mangas instead of properly reading them. Or skimmed through movies and series to look for the interesting scenes.

I don't know what I like anymore. And I like nothing I come across. Or is it because I don't take the time to stop and look? Would I find more connection to a work of art if I spent more time with it?

The scene also got younger. I'm in my 30s now, and I've seen the internet change. Young people bring in different views, different influences. You see the same topics repeating themselves. Romance. BL. Anything outside of these genres gets barely recognition, which is super sad.

And it seems as if stories (of webcomics) are less about actually writing a really good story anymore, but about making something fast and shallow. Maybe I'm not doing them justice, that's just my initial impression. Where are the good stories? And if I found them, would I even have the patience to indulge in them? Probably not. Why not? Am I over webcomics? Over comics in general? Do I find them childish? I find my own comic childish sometimes. Though childish is not even a negative trait, not at all.

I used to cling onto youth, onto teenage characters. Maybe for longer than others. But I've finally grown out of it. I've been an adult now for longer than I have been a kid and teenager. It's very strange to grow apart from your ideals, from things you held so dear.

I'm confused and don't know what to do with all of this. I've been like that since a couple of years now, and neither is the passion for webcomics coming back, nor that energy for drawing I used to have.

There is also nothing else I'm really interested in. Telling stories and making art is still the best thing I can do, and what fulfills me the most. It's just become something different than it was.