barefoot on the moon

Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.

You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.

You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.

You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.

What the fuck is “military time”

Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.

People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.

You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.

People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.

People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.

You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.

People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.

You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.

People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.

Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.

You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.

People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.

(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)

You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.

You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.

Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??

Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.

I have two tabs open. one is tumblr. I am 160 posts back on my dashboard - I have made it back to the place I left off the night before.

satisfied, I open the second tab to pull up a post-avengers fanfic. everyone lives together in stark tower - each of them has their own floor. for no explained reason, loki shares thor’s. no one questions that he has not been arrested. the team has friday evening movie nights. at breakfast, thor eats all of tony’s pop tarts.

Call me the dreamer

Head’s in the clouds

What must go up always comes down

I still believe

This was always here for me

this post DOES NOT SAY women who like makeup should feel guilty.

it DOES NOT SAY every woman who wears makeup hates themself.

IT SAYS THAT WEARING MAKEUP - SOMETHING THAT TAKES UP MONEY, TIME AND EFFORT - SHOULD NOT BE THE NORM FOR WOMEN, TO THE DEGREE THAT ‘NO MAKEUP’ IS DEFINED AS CONCEALER, BROWS, MASCARA AND BB CREAM

THERE ARE WOMEN OUT THERE WHO ARE SCARED TO BE SEEN WITHOUT MAKEUP BY THEIR PARTNERS, WHO SLEEP WITH MAKEUP ON BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID THEIR SIGNIFCANT OTHER WILL NOT FIND THEM BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT MAKEUP

I have seen girls doing no makeup challenges who fucking… Got upset and cried. Just having their bare, natural faces without products on it has become so expected of them that is induces distress and anxiety to be without it. They feel judged.

That’s fucked up.

Makeup as an item, as a thing… It is nether good, nor bad, it is just a tool. But a culture of makeup is manipulative and warping the way a lot of women view themselves and how they view other women.