Everything is awesom!

a collection of crabs!! gosh this turned out bigger than I expected and I had to leave out a few crabs too ;o;

Not-Tea stat block!

so this IS peak performance

What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting

They used to cross the road, probably, no definitely, without looking left and right. And they got squished.

Environmentalists had a hell of a job, keeping them in their lane. Traffic would have to be blocked for the duration.

But now, they have a lovely bridge, and no one has to ask: Why did the Christmas Island Crab cross the road, if they’re just gonna get squished?

Answer: They want to hit the beach. Because that’s where they like to have sex. And because the mummy crabs like to throw their eggs into the ocean after they’ve spawned them in the burrows that the daddy crab so kindly digs on the beach.

Look at them scurrying over their bridge, the smell of the ocean in their noses, the thought of copulation driving them on…

Whew! Finally, made it to the beach…now The Sex can begin!

Mission accomplished… And a few weeks later after a float in the ocean…

Back come the ankle biters…to the rainforest where they live.