The Hootenanny is Queer!

youre not nothingburger in fact you are everything bagel

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

Do you think the wet bandits from home alone ever held each other? Ever kissed each other, gently, and then passionately? Explored each other’s bodies, huddled in the back of their van?

bringing this back for Christmas

the meme is past its heyday but this was the origin of the “explored each others bodies” memes from this year. I’ve stayed humble about it though. merry christmas again. 

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

Posting my nudes on inaturalist and tagging it as homo sapiens

there really is something really funny about an author who is determined to have every character in their story be straight but every single straight relationship dynamic is a very boring static "she likes him and he's oblivious about it" or whatever while unthinkingly and constantly giving those same characters the most insane emotionally-intense and profoundly ambiguous relationships with characters of the same gender, but insisting that it's 100% platonic