Captain of the USS Yearning

This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise speaking. We’ve entered the orbit of a planet not terribly unlike our own… save that it is exclusively populated by petty old queens.

They seem to have accepted Commander Spock as one of their own.

can my job be star trek. im great at star trek

it's so funny to me how scott and kip are drinking smoothies and buying novelty socks and moving at the speed of lesbians, meanwhile shane and ilya are stuck in individual saw traps but the saw traps are their minds and they forgot the instructions

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

Shane: I thought I was bisexual because I have a lot of reverence for women. Shane: Now I know that's the gayest thing you can have. Straight men don't like women. Shane: There were truly eight years of time where I was going "I have to be bisexual because I'm attracted to men, but I love when a film has Rose Landry." Shane: Fret not, I've sorted it.