4Dadreamerz

jus me n my music ! puttin yall on..

CHEW WHAT?? I AIN'T CHEWIN NO DANG FAT.

texas country slang is even worse, bruh... talkin bout some "all hat, no cattle"

the way i tried to be mature today? i really did. i woke up, drank my water, and told myself i was gon' rise above the nonsense. but yall keep testing me, ONE person gotta say sum bout me, and mother nature and i will jump you. and we did. (through spirit.. cuz no)

cuz why am i expected to be the bigger person every time? i'm like 5'10, so i don't gotta be the bigger person mentally, too. my ancestors did not fight, march, pray, and manifest for me to sit here swallowing disrespect like a vitamin. ABSOLUTELY NOT. i'm honoring the lineage by being just petty enough to keep the story interesting.

i tried. tryna go outside and ground myself but mother earth said "nah, you still mad." i deserve to be. and the worst part? I KNOW i'm bein' just a little dramatic. i can hear my great-great granny whispering, "baby, just let it go." and i'm like, "i will... after i finish this paragraph dragging them in my head."

anyway, that's where i'm at. enlightened but messy. whimsical but ready to throw a metaphorical doc marten.

there's way too much to worry about. you can't even truly be yourself out here, because you're either giving something up or you're put in danger. the world just forces you to stay alert and ready, but i just want to run away to a meadow and become a full‑time flower spirit. you can only do so much about it. like why am i praying every other day that we don't go to war...

and on top of that, creativity has gotten so hard for me because i'm constantly in crisis mode—constantly worried about something— whether it's people, the future, the stress i'll have to face tomorrow... can we just stop it? how many times is the world going to self-sabotage itself before it realizes we're going down with it?

but honestly? at some point you have to let yourself live anyway. the world is loud and terrifying and constantly trying to shape you into something smaller, but you don't have to listen to it every second of your life. go do what makes you feel like a person again. relocate to a quiet island and spend your days befriending birds, kiss a frog, live in a rainforest and sing to toucans...