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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@snooberry

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FINALLY got good photos of my sculpture final. This is my dog his name is Sock.
Look at my fish.
Can you please just have an ounce of shrimpathy?
I don't think dust needs to exist personally
I really love this website and the people on it a lot
you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools
to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.
Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs

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tired: mermaids are all women
wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty
inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture
marine scientist: what’s your gender?
merperson: what’s a gender
marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?
merperson: i’m merfolk
marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?
merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?
It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.
Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that
Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)
Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*
Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK
OH MY GOD
So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.
That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Man that weirdly pretty queercoded villain sure is tenderly cradling the brash hero's unconscious form huh. Gently tilting his head to drip medicine into his mouth. I mean yeah he is saying that this is only because we need to temporarily team up to defeat a word bad guy and the hero isn't allowed to die until they have their epic rematch but uh. Um.
Like. The hero's girlfriend is right there. She could definitely be the one gently cradling him and pouring the medicine down his throat.
I'm just saying this seems like a weird distribution of uh. Tasks.
We have to make the trek up to the King of Destruction's castle and hope the hero wakes up en route because it's going to take us a while to get there, and every minute we wait is another minute while the King of Destruction accumulates the power to destroy the world. Luckily I know how to make a stretcher.
We're not using the stretcher. The villain is just carrying the hero in his arms.
I tried to offer him the stretcher several times AND suggested he at least sling the hero over his back but he says he doesn't want to impede the medicine taking effect. Is bridal carry really necessary for that...?
The hero's girlfriend is staying behind. She says she'll pray for us. I get that she's not really a combatant so it kind of makes sense but... I mean. Just speaking for myself I'd uh. Want to keep one eye on things, y'know?
The hero's perverted drunken mentor asked me to keep an eye out for the villain's betrayal in a rare moment of sobriety, but he's also staying behind to help "protect the village". I'm pretty sure that if we fail the King of Destruction will just obliterate the place in an instant though?
Starting to think they just don't want to third wheel whatever this is...
So looks like it's just me, the villain, the villain's hench goblin, and the unconscious hero marching up to the onyx castle that has wyverns pouring out of it.
Worst road trip ever.
I volunteered to fight most of the wyverns. I said it was so the villain could conserve his strength for the fight against the King of Destruction, so now it's just me and the hench goblin walking up ahead, trying not to listen to all the flowery stuff the villain keeps saying to the unconscious hero.
So awkward. Never thought I'd end up sharing commiserating glances with a hench goblin.
This hench goblin's pretty tough. He likes my ration bars too. Kind of nice, normally the others are always just complaining about my rations and how they taste bad. Beggars can't be choosers on the road, though!
Actually this trip might not be so bad. Hench goblin's name is Toady, which seems kind of degrading but I don't know enough about goblin culture to say anything. He says he serves the villain because his people owe the guy a big debt for saving their village. I wouldn't have thought that guy was the type to save a village, but goblins do have it pretty rough these days. I can definitely believe a goblin village was in need of saving!
The hero doesn't like heading to those parts of the map though. Says there's nothing worth going there for. I don't think he understands how hard some of the greenfolk have it.
Toady asked what my "employment contract" was, and I told him that I travel with the hero because he's my friend. He asked if I got paid and when I said no, he said I should "look into a union"...?
Got a card for something called the Minion Labor Rights Commission I'm not sure what that is but Toady said he would explain it while we worked.
Learning a lot of interesting things on this trip!
We made it to the onyx castle where the King of Destruction is. The villain finally put down the hero and started fighting the King while Toady and I dealt with even more wyverns. We had to guard the hero until he woke up, but luckily he opened his eyes right when it seemed like the King of Destruction was gonna turn the villain into paste, and then he dramatically rushed in and deflected the energy blast. Now the hero and villain are fighting back-to-black. Not that I can see much of it, through all the swirling energy blasts and exploding wyverns!
Toady said we should retreat. I told him I couldn't just leave my friend to deal with all of that but then a stray blast from the hero's sword broke the ground underneath our feet. We got flung down the mountain but Toady used this magical shield item to keep us from dying. Whew!
There was no way we were going to be able to make it back up the mountain again after that, so I prepared Toady a last meal in case that was the end of things for us. When everything started shaking I was afraid it would be, Toady and I were literally clinging to each other, but then the King of Destruction collapsed into all these black motes and his castle crumbled. So I think we're good?
The hero and villain made it back. Well, actually the hero made it back, but Toady and I went and found the villain's collapsed form near the crumbled castle and brought him down as well. Finally used the stretcher!
Hero scolded me for setting up camp. Says I'm always thinking with my stomach. Normally I just laugh that stuff off but it bothered me more this time for some reason...
The villain's still unconscious. Toady and I are carrying him on the stretcher together, the hero wants to get back to his girlfriend and check on the village as soon as possible. I hope none of the wyverns made it that far down, but I'm pretty sure Toady and I got them all when were heading up!
Toady is taking the villain further on back to the goblin town, I offered to help him but he says he's going to contact some other goblins to do the work and it'd be against union rules otherwise. Hero wanted to lock the villain in prison, but I pointed out that he helped save the village, so it was probably better to just let them go.
Toady gave me a magic crystal. Said I could use it in an emergency to contact him. For some reason I don't want to tell the hero about this. I don't think he'd like it. So I'm keeping it to myself.
I gave Toady all the wyvern meat I was able to gather on our way up to the castle. It's all good, I preserved it in my specialty bags. The hero caught me but he just made a joke about wyvern meat constituting a type of biological warfare.
I think I'm going to reconsider some stuff. Maybe stop traveling with friends as much.
Wonder how I'm supposed to contact the number on this card...?
This rapid slide from attempted machismo to sweet tender feelings is what happened to the show, too.

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so i hear tumblr's dying and this moby dick meme idea has lived in my head for literal years...
cant stop thinking about this. in this scene jud is going out of his way to be kind in a way benoit wouldn't even have THOUGHT to be. thats what this face says to me. jud has a dying woman in his arms and his first thought is to get her to forgive grace and to let her hatred go. he's sending her to death by absolving her of her life long hatred. he's gentle but firm about it, this is important, not just for martha, but for grace too. for jud too. this is his first time performing last rites and he does it through forgiveness. benoit having grown up as catholic would know what last rites are and how the other priests usually do them and know that jud is unique in this too. the look on his face is so tender. he genuinely thinks highly of jud
I actually have come around to the series being called Knives Out instead of named for Benoit in any way. Because Benoit isn't truly what ties it together, it's the consistent social commentary themes. And do you remember why it's called Knives Out?
"You're a pack of vultures at the feast. Knives out, beaks bloody."
THAT. That has not stopped being true. THAT is the heart of each movie.
It isn't named after the first movie. It's named after the line. It's named after the disregard of morals in the name of greed.
"there's a guy in the walls" movies exist in a universe that I fucking WISH was real. imagine how easy it would be to install stuff in walls if the space behind a wall was not 3.5 inches/8.9 cm deep and I could get my whole self in there. of course that would mean a guy could get in there too, but what are the odds.
<currently blogging from inside this idiot's walls>
PLEASE help me feed these ethernet cables downstairs or I'm gonna kill myself before you get a crack at me
thread it down here champ, we'll get this installed come hell or high water
you are the best scary murderer who could have ever crawled into my walls
tragic: mutual puts a fandom poll on your dash begging you to vote for blorbo bleebus but you know in your heart that the other option, blingus blarbo, is the correct choice. on some judas shit. forgive me brother for you have forced my hand.

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X-Files Season 6 behind the scenes
they make the best aliens because little girls are fucking bizarre, nobody else can match that energy
In an interview he said that the boys always ended up breaking their costumes bc they would fight each other, but the girls Got. Into. Character. and were amazing creepy little aliens.Â
does anyone else remember when michaels (art supply company) accidentally made omegle again
when they What
michaels added a feature for a while in sept. 2020 where shoppers could ask questions that would be answered live by other shoppers anonymously. which led to some good michaels interactions.