one cannot have both compassion and innocence

I have a LOT of feelings about how Gus has so many of the autistic (and some ADHD) traits that people find annoying and grating and get pissed off about (correcting people, infodumping, dropping special interests into unrelated conversations, rigidity in folllowing rules, etc) and Shawn has so many of the ADHD (and some autistic) traits that people find annoying etc (physical and verbal hyperactivity, jumping between tasks and jobs and so forth, habitual lying, interrupting in conversation, etc), BUT

With each other they sort of… build their relationship around those things, instead of treating them as Problems. Gus corrects incorrect things and Shawn forgets correct things (or habitually lies or etc) so they build an entire recurring bit around the situation where those traits intersect (“I’ve heard it both ways”) that turns it from a source of conflict into a shared in-joke ritual. When Shawn starts up one of his elaborate lies Gus immediately swings into commit to the bit back-up mode. Shawn treats Gus’s infodumping as a social strategy.

They balance each others’ extremes without genuinely resenting each other for needing that. Gus is overly rigid about rule-following, Shawn is overly impulsive about rule-breaking, and they pull each other towards a more sustainable middle ground. Gus is overly fond of routine and risks stagnation, Shawn is overly prone to starting and then abandoning things, between them they’re able to form a life that’s interesting and includes novelty but isn’t unlivably chaotic. (We see what happens with that one when they’re not together to balance each other out! During the time they were apart, Shawn had a jillion jobs and quit all of them, while Gus became a dead-eyed pharmaceutical salesman with zero, like, Upward Mobility.)

And then of course there are the traits they share! They both clearly have echolalia and a drive to stim, for instance, and instead of policing each other they just periodically break into random dances and vocal exercises and “singing” and general sensory-seeking nonsense together, matched to each other.

I just??? The fact that they visibly display all those autistic and ADHD traits that drive other people crazy but instead of being a wedge between them that’s exactly why they’re perfect for each other… and how it’s not that it doesn’t ever cause them annoyance because they’re just like naturally soulmates who never get annoyed by anything about each other, but that they’ve worked out rituals and strategies so that what maybe bothered them in the past now instead is a shared bonding activity, or acts to balance their weaknesses against each other…