vore me closer tony danza

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

being extremely out of the loop especially regarding social media trends and discourse means you often end up learning things only after they've been turned into memes like ten times removed from the original context. for example the first time I ever read the term "girl dinner" it was on a gif of the T-Rex from Jurassic Park eating people so you can imagine the confusion when some time later I stumbled upon posts where people were hating on it and calling it gender essentialist

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

They're building a tunnels under the city so more people can get lost and scared. I don't like it but 🤷‍♀️

imagine getting sold to a band you aren’t a fan of that would just be so awkward

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright