vore me closer tony danza

Hey man, I saw your living weapon staring at its reflection. You might wanna get that looked at

Yeah, your emotionless tool of destruction is beginning to develop a sense of self. Probably nothing to worry ‘bout though

"axe body spray", "adidas men 3in1 body wash", and other such scents, become exquisite and deeply sensual fragrances when worn by women

this phenomenon is part of, and can be a prelude to, what is known as "girl yaoi"

yknow its interesting how something can impact one demographic in a completely different way than everyone else. in the exorcist when the demon starts speaking in greek, to most people its creepy. but if youre greek and you suddenly start hearing the demon speak perfect fucking greek its genuinely the biggest scare of the movie. you just do not expect to ever hear your language in american movies so it catches you so badly off guard, it feels like the movie is talking directly to you

the first time my dad saw it, it was with his american friends. and when she started speaking greek he turned to one of them and was like "re malaka did you hear that in english?"

For the longest time ever I didn't realize the song Californication was Cali and Fornication. I thought it was Californiacation as in turning things into California. ForceCali

You want to go to Los Angeles so bad. Mommy wants you to go stand by the Hollywood sign and take photos in Redwood National State Park

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

@meangirlnurse

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

this post had everything I could hope for

You... brought her home, right? Called her owners? Did something to get her generally in the direction of the people who certainly must miss their daughter dearly?

no they just took a picture for tumblr and then threw the cat down a sewer drain

yay!

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”

can’t wait until they make sandbox turtle for women 

oh my hod…. femenism

the christian veneration of the lamb has always been terrifying to me in ways i can’t explain

here’s this figure that is vulnerable and easily abused and what’s admirable about it is that it doesn’t fight back and it doesn’t try to defend itself and it’s suffering is noble because it just sits there and takes it. pain is beautiful when you surrender to pain, suffering is godly when you don’t question or try to protect yourself and survival is ugly… like it is just me or is anybody else’s fucking skin crawling rn!!